Sticking His Neck Out

Here’s to the giraffe!
His looks may make you laugh,
But he gamely lifts his head
Up to heights that others dread.

Orthography Again

English spelling can be a mystery:
Not especially aesthetic,
And imperfectly phonetic,
But reflecting a fine sense of history.

Oddities of Orthography

The spellings of Right and Wrong
Seem a bit too long.
G, H, and W
Have very little to do.
But wouldn't it be a sight
If I spelled them Rong and Rit?

Prove You’re Not

The internet has many spots
Which show a bias when it comes to bots.

Disappointed

I was promised snow to shovel
Around my humble hovel,
But though it’s blowing and pelting,
Sadly it’s mostly melting!

Oracle vs. Google

I was reading that tech companies are lining up behind Google in the case that will soon be before the Supreme Court, which has to do with whether some APIs are copyrighted and therefore the property of Oracle.

API = application programming interface.

Anyway, if Oracle wins, I gather there's money in this game.

I want to copyright an API.
But first I have to write one, so...
I'll get right on that, by and by.

Jeans Lyrics

This was hard to find. I was remembering an old song, by a guy, in which his girlfriend is pregnant, and the reason he knows, is that her jeans are getting tight. I always thought that was a funny set up. I don't think I've heard the song in forever, but it turns out to be by Jackson Browne. It took all of my google-fu, because I didn't actually remember a specific phrase from the lyrics, but it turned up in a book about Jackson Brown that Google book search provided. The song is called Ready Or Not, which amused me, because I wrote a play with that title.

The song starts out:

Someone's gonna have to explain it to me
I'm not sure what it means
My baby's feelin' funny in the morning
She's having trouble getting into her jeans
Her waist-line seems to be expanding
Although she never feels like eating a thing
I guess we'll reach some understanding
When we see what the future will bring.

It ends like this:

She says she's ready for some meaning
After all of her running around
Bless my soul, she's got a rock and roll bandman
Thinking 'bout settling down.

And I will just leave these lyrics up as the rhyme for this post.

FAA Banning Emotional Support Animals?

But I need a seat
For my parakeet!
Without him I am incomplete.

Strict Rules

There’s a lot of local reportage
About a legal pot shortage.
But I suppose the illegal supply
Is high.

Cast a Cold Eye

These coats with the Arctic emblem on the sleeve...
Am I supposed to actually believe
They’re suitable for traipsing through the snow
On the North Pole when it’s thirty two below?

Every Winter

Every winter
I find I have placed
An extra inch
Around my waist.
Fat cells do well
As insulation,
And in the water
They aid flotation.
But when I step
Upon the scale,
The gain of five
Always feels like a fail!

Running Free

At one thirty in the morning
My dog once again barked a warning.
This time I was rewarded with a view of the fox
Running in the snow for a couple of blocks.
I thought it was a good time to slip back into bed,
But “yip yip yip” is what the fox said.

Not My Path

How odd to be raised as a royal,
Starting from when you're a tyke.
We are symbols, and you must be loyal!
I wonder what that must be like.

Coding

Is it true that all can code?
Excuse me for feeling doubt.
I've lived my life on that road,
But most people seem to bail out.

Shoot It

CHICAGO (CBS) — A 5-year-old boy was taken to the hospital Wednesday afternoon, after a coyote bit him several times outside a nature museum in Lincoln Park.

Coyotes run free.
They're a natural sight.
But they do worry me -
Because sometimes they bite.

Bzzzt

I wish I had a neighbor
With a functioning light saber.
I’d borrow it to trim my trees
And chase off raccoons with the greatest of ease.

Forecast

Will there be sufficient stuff
To rhyme about in 2020?
What if somehow there’s not enough?
I’m betting there will be plenty.

Multiples

In Ireland, there’s Dublin.
In Lybia, Tripoli.
But as for Quadrupalia...
Wherever can it be?

Deep Winter

January and February
Are the months that rhyme with scary.
The air is cold, the flowers wilted,
All because this planet’s tilted!