Trial

There's this "streaming service" call CBS All Access, and they have 2 different Star Trek series - one called Picard and one called Discovery. I had heard kind of discouraging things about both shows. So I hadn't rushed out to subscribe to the streaming service.

But then I read that they had a one-month free trial for April, and seeing as how our evenings were freer than usual, we decided to give it a shot. Turns out we like both shows. But it was a lot of shows to watch. And... April is coming to an end!

The free trial schedule has now gotten tight.
We have to watch 3 episodes tonight.

In The Moment

I saw a headline for an old humorous fake news item:

Woman ‘living in moment’ finds that unfortunately it is connected to other moments

It made me think a bit, because I feel the tension around this. There is a lot to be said for savoring the moment. But there's a lot to be said for looking ahead, as well.

The way of causality
Runs without end.
Embrace this reality,
Make it your friend.
We live in the now
But it changes so fast,
And grasping the how
Means you look at the past
And what's coming next.
To avoid being vexed,

Tips

You want reopening tips?
Thank you for asking.
TP can also be used
For facial masking!

And if you go out like this,
They’ll keep their distance,
With or without your governor’s
Legal insistence.

Scanning

I’m told that at midnight tonight
A medical satellite
Will scan the US for fever.
Stand naked outside in your yard,
While waving an ID card.
You’re doubtful? Well, I’m a believer!

Keep Your Head

Lead me not into fear.
Let my mind stay clear.
I find a state of terror
Generates error.

Live Long and Prosper

My wife was recommending the Vulcan salute to me, as a substitute for shaking hands.

It's not easy.

I can do this thing. Yes, it is true.
But some Vulcan purists may jeer,
Since I have to use Krazy-Glue
To make my pinkie adhere!

Big State Blues

Ithaca is not Manhattan.
Cooperstown is far from Queens.
They have different curves to flatten,
Different needs for quarantines.

Need to Buy a New One

The scales in my house need some maintenance tweaks.
They haven’t been right for a couple of weeks.
It’s very peculiar - with no sign of ceasing -
They all indicate that my weight is increasing!

Rapid Deployment Process

Charmin the Musical...
I know it sounds absurd,
But now the show has tunes
To go with its words -
Would you like to hear a tune?
That may be forthcoming soon!

Ugh

"A delay by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in quickly making coronavirus test kits available was the result of “a glaring scientific breakdown” at the CDA central lab, The Washington Post reported."

Expertise
At CDC
Somehow wasn’t a guarantee.

Strange Radiance In The Sky

Sitting in the sun
Just to see
What is going on
Around me,
And hopefully charging up
My vitamin D.

Exigent

Lots of red tape
Is getting the slice.
Leaving it that way
Might be nice.

Wafting

The air smells sweet
But does it carry germs?
That’s the sort of thought
That gives me squirms.

Expedite!

I’m tired of keeping my hands super clean!
Come on virologists, where’s the vaccine?

Inflexibility

A horseman of the Apocalypse,
One of the dreaded four,
Rode up to the FDA
And knocked on the door.

They said "You are not welcome.
We have our rules."
He said, "I'm on my way,
Don't act like fools."

Amplifyig

People will work at ignoring
Someone who's horribly boring.
That's why such a person talks loud -
To capture the ears of the crowd.

Hunkering in the Bunker

When you warn people about a lock up
Of course they decide to stock up.
After all this frightening reportage,
I'm fully prepared for a Fritos shortage.

This Too Shall Pass

Car pool
Suddenly uncool.
Bus, train
Now insane.
Wearing a mask to the bank
No longer a prank.

Happy Monday

Days of the week - you know what I mean?
So 2019!

Undead Language

I heard wild news. The anchorman spoke
About something scary and so I awoke!
It seems that demand is starting to snowball
For people who still can comprehend Cobol.
I have to add, without any enjoyment
It has to do with Unemployment.
The state of New Jersey has an old system,
To handle the jobless, to track them and list them,
But with this damn virus the numbers exploded
And now that old system is just overloaded.
So if you know all about MOVE and COMPUTE,
And maybe a bit about VSAM to boot,
The governor hopes for your help - to be clear,
He seemed to be asking that we'd "volunteer"
By which I fear greatly he'd rather not pay!
I guess that Chicago is where I will stay.

Prove Me Wrong

Ad Hominem is the best argument.
Yes, that’s what I said.
And if you dare to disagree,
You are a poopy head.

Corvids

I'm reliably told that ravens and crows
Want to make sure that everyone knows
They have nothing to do
With this "it's not a flu".
It's a similar name,
BUT IT ISN'T THE SAME!

Expansion Plans

I think it would be great
If Guam became a state.
We’d all be asking: where is it?
And then we’d go to visit.
Their tourist biz would boom,
Once we’re past this viral doom.

Who’s Sorry Now

When a post starts with “Sorry”
I always feel worry
The poster’s not sorry
But really more angry
And that makes me sorry -
I feel so misled.
This may make you worry
I’m wrong in the head
But that’s my real story
And really I’m sorry
If you feel upset
By this post that you’ve read.

Doors Closed

We have lots of theaters
Prevented from theating.
Their business model
Has taken a beating.

Breaking News

They told me that morning had broken,
Which put me in a panic.
We really need it working
So I called a celestial mechanic.