Just Wait

If you have momentous news 

And you’re feeling fit to burst 

I still recommend you choose 

Some day other than April First.

Going for the Gold

I'm seeking an Olympic win 

In jumping to conclusions. 

I'm putting an aggressive spin 

On breaking-news confusions. 

The stories that you hear Day One 

Might change a bit Day Two, 

But red hot takes are so much fun 

Whether false or true!

Equality of a Sort

I'm just getting over the changing clocks, 

But my mind has fallen prey 

To this puzzle: Why call it an equinox
Instead of an equi-day?
I'm sure there's a very good reason,
But what it is, I can't say.
Welcome to the next season -
Let's celebrate anyway!

Little People Investments

 Leprechauns hold

Their pots of gold

As hedges against inflation.

They’re starting to tiptoe

Their way into crypto

With hesitant trepidation.

Edward, Originally

e e cummings 

liked lowercaseness 

regarded punctuation regulations 

as basically baseless

DST Short for DISTRESS

Why not spring forward one minute - 

And do it for 60 days? 

It works out to be equivalent, 

And spares me a horrid haze!

Characters

Not one, not two, but three alphabets - 

Japanese is the best language yet! 

Excuse me, now that I recollect, 

“Alphabets” isn’t really correct, 

Maybe I even said that for laughs - 

They’re syllabaries and logographs!

Elegant Antelope

An impala's horns point toward the back, 

Which seems to suggest that I'm safe from attack. 

But I'm avoiding them just the same 

On account of "Impale Ya" is right in their name!

Metamorphoses

In Ovid’s Metamorphoses, 

People get turned into birds. 

In Kafka’s Metamorphosis, 

Conversion-to-cockroach occurred.

In Ovid such changes are typically wrought 

By some offended god’s word. 

For Kafka no explanation is sought, 

His world is simply absurd.

Intellectuals

Sometimes intellectuals 

Seem rather ineffectual 

But over the longer haul 

Their efforts affect us all.

First Monday in March

Many ask: just what is Pulaski Day for?

We honor a Polish nobleman who died, 

Leading cavalry for the American side

In the original Brits vs. Colonists war.