Banned from the Chicago Stage

Chicago has decided that actors will no longer be allowed to light up onstage.

Instead of exempting actors, [Alderman] Smith advised producers to modify the lines of the play to strike references to smoking and smoke-filled rooms.

The N.Y. Times discusses this dramatic legal trend, starting with a great example:

"Hand me a cigarette ..., lover,” Martha says to her conquest Nick in the second act of Edward Albee's “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” The stage directions then read: “He lights it for her. As he does, she slips her hand between his legs.”

You can see the problem here. The playwright has used smoking as a way to further the physical action of the play. I suppose we can do it like this:

"Hand me a stick of Nicorette ..., lover."

Hmm. I think it loses something in the translation.

I really don't care for smoke,
But this sort of law makes me choke.