I Believe He Can Fly

R. Kelly was found not guilty today on all counts. The mostly female jury took less than 8 hours to decide.

I didn't see the tape, but it sounds like it was too poor in quality.

What's more, the mole on his back seemed to flicker in and out of existence on the tape.

I feel a Johnnie Cochran moment coming on.:

If there's no mole to see,
you must set him free!

Now, once you get off like this, the cops tend to watch you very carefully. So I have advice for him:

If you want to stay free,
first check i.d.!

UPDATE: Jurors, interviewed afterwards, said they were especially uncertain of the identity of the female on the tape.

"Most of us felt that maybe it was Kelly, maybe not," said juror John Petrean, a Romanian immigrant. "But nobody could agree if it was her. We had seen photos of her at other times and she seemed like a young girl. It seemed like the girl on the tape was much more developed."