Thursday, July 09, 2009

The Rhymed Version

A good friend wants to see the early rhymed version of my play... Well, here's a sample.

As performed:

SUSAN
You look so happy.

EDWARD
Why shouldn't I be? I'm free. I'm home. I'll sleep in my own bed tonight. What could be better than that?

SUSAN
You didn't get my letter, did you?

EDWARD
Which one? You sent so many.

SUSAN
The last one. I don't think you got it. You wouldn't look so happy.


In early version:

EDWARD
My mood? Well what would you expect? I’m free.
I’m out. I’m home again. You’re here with me.
To sleep in my own bed… what could be better?

SUSAN
I’m thinking that you didn’t get my letter.

EDWARD
You sent so many letters, each a treasure.

SUSAN
This last one would have brought more pain than pleasure.

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