Quick Acting Kayaker

A first-time kayaker fished a man in a business suit out of the Chicago River yesterday:

"I thought about putting him on the kayak, but his body was really heavy," Gonzalez said. "So I grabbed him by the back of the head, with his shirt, and put my other hand under his chin to hold his head up."

Apparently the victim was reading on the riverwalk and passed out, tumbling into the slow-flowing waters of dubious cleanliness.

Close to that river ain't
a safe place to faint.