Charmin the Musical, song 7, duet:
She: I'm sorry I sent you - that was outrageous.
And now that you’re back - are you maybe contagious?
He: I don’t think that I took chances much
But let me shower before we touch.
She: But what is that behind your back?
He: I have obtained the thing we lacked:
Twenty-four rolls tightly packed!
She: You did it. You did it. Why did I doubt you?
The truth is I never could live without you!
He: I did it. I did it. I feared that I couldn’t.
And if I didn't love you, I probably wouldn’t.
Both: Somehow love has the power to inspire us
To overcome anything, even this virus!
He: I must say you're looking unusually glamorous.
She: I must say I’m feeling exceptionally amorous.
Both: Perhaps we could somehow slip off to bed
In hazmat suits with hoods on our heads!
She: But before we start to get it on,
I’ve got to make a trip to the john.
So give me a roll of that Charmin I crave.
He: This may be the best gift that I ever gave!
She: Love invites fights
He: But is somehow disarmin’
She: I'll be your princess.
He: I'll be your Prince Charmin!
Both: And on that fair note, without further issue,
We wrap up our tale of extra soft tissue!
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