Common Measure

They say that poems by Emily, 

So measured, terse, and sure, 

Are suited to the melody 

That tolled the Minnow's tour. 

And though I pleaded with my tears, 

And though I remonstrated, 

Because I could not stop my ears, 

I've heard it demonstrated.

Silly Puns

What kind of dial can bite your hand?
A crocodile - they ought to be banned!
What kind of key throws poop at your head?
A monkey, of course - I’d duck instead!