Calendar Cutover

 May, you must go away,

June is arriving soon,

And lacking a Tardis, I’m…

Required to live just one month at a time.

Distance

When running in the USA

In contests such as a 5 or 10 K,

There are mile markers along the way. 

Kilometers set the length of the race,

But with miles we measure our pace.

The Mystery of Acquired Taste

 Why does stinky cheese

Have the power to please?

First Sentence of Anna K.

Happy families are all alike.

That’s  what Tolstoy famously said. 

I suspect happy families simply bored him,

So he wrote about the others, instead.

Track Me

I try to accept every tracking app that’s sent.
So if I disappear, someone will know where I went.

Delayed

 It’s cold.

The train is late.
I stand
And refrigerate.

At last,
The train is here.
I sit,
And thaw my rear.

Purchase Plan

I'm buying the Brooklyn Bridge - 

I have a secret goal: 

Once I purchase it, 

I'm going to charge a toll. 

I'll make it free on Sundays, 

Just because I'm nice, 

But if you honk your horn, 

I might just charge you twice.

Flashback

Soviet student of ichthyology

Was good at studying sharks

But struggled with political philosophy 

In which he got low Marx. 

Drama

A slapology is an apology 

That adds to the first offence: 

"Sorry for calling you stupid, 

It's just that you're horribly dense." 

A slapologist is not an expert 

On whether a slap was real - 

For that you must ask Mr. Rock, 

"Exactly how did that feel?"

Fine Dining

I opened a restaurant on the moon, 

But it was a failure, I fear. 

I found the reason, rather soon: 

It had no atmosphere.

Dogstacles

Let sleeping dogs lie 

They like to say. 

But what if said dog 

Is right in your way? 

Then you just might 

Be required to wake 

That snoring pooch 

With a shout or a shake.

Midmonth

Under an arch 

On the Ides of March 

Poor Caesar met his doom. 

A really smart guy 

Not ready to die 

But he failed to read the room.

Origin by Dan Brown, and the Origin of a Saying

I finished this book yesterday and I am here to complain about it, or at least about part of it. Dan Brown is the guy who wrote the Da Vinci Code, which I very much enjoyed in an alternate-universe kind of way. This book has the same hero, a professor at Harvard who is supposed to have written a book called "Christianity and the Sacred Feminine". So you might think this professor character would be familiar with the gospels. 

However. On page 349 of the paperback, an artificial intelligence program declares: "Those who live by the sword will die by the sword." 

And what does this expert on Christianity think to himself? "Langdon did a double take. Did Edmond's computer really just paraphrase Aeschylus?" 

I did an eye roll. Does this author really not know that this commonplace phrase comes from Jesus?

Aeschylus apparently did say something similar, sort of, maybe, depending on how it gets translated. But as quoted, it sounds just like what Jesus said, according to the Gospel of Matthew. And it's the version from Jesus that is a commonplace saying throughout our culture. There is nothing remarkable about someone knowing that phrase! 

This is a mainstream best seller by a popular author who makes a point in his afterword of thanking all his wonderful editors and the helpful historians and religious scholars who went through his text. Has no one in this collection of editors ever read the gospels? 

The editors he hired 

Were less than divinely inspired.

Taking Off From Phoenix

Sitting in the airport on a jet, 

I sometimes find I viscerally forget 

Just where I am. It’s like a movie set - 

A space apart - but then the plane takes flight 

And there below me, whether day or night, 

Some city sprawls, recalling to my sight 

My current location 

Just as I abandon it for my next destination.

Reading Rilke

When reading through Rilke I go on a difficult journey, 

And twist in my core over things that I love and detest. 

He freely associates like an aeolian harp, 

The winds of experience buffet his delicate soul, 

Or sometimes caress it and he cannot summon the strength 

To feel any certainty over the things that he feels, 

Finds questions, not answers, and so he goes rambling forth, 

Keeps hoping for some revelation to seize him and hold him 

But always the angel takes wing - and leaves him bereft.

Phillis Wheatley

I'm a Words With Friends player. They have themed robot games, with a new roster of robots on a weekly basis. 

This week the theme is Black European Heroes, where you are "playing" famous black Europeans. Alexandre Dumas is one. He was, indeed, part black. As was Alexander Pushkin, who did not make it into this particular list of luminaries. 

But you know who made the cut? Phillis Wheatley. This startled me, because, as a rule she is counted as African American, not European. Born in Africa. Died in America. But her book of poems was published in England. And that's about as close to European as you can get her. 

If you say that Phillis Wheatley 

Wrote cleverly and sweetly, 

I'm readily agreeing. 

But calling her European 

Is something I'm not seeing.

"Today's the day for an online play."

Escape

If you want to escape the fact checkers, 

Stay away from facts! 

Ever since giving them up, 

I feel much more relaxed.

Meaning to be Found

Many meaningless jobs 

Are more meaningful than we think. 

The person who flips a burger, 

The person who cleans a sink, 

Perform in the great machine 

That furthers life here on earth, 

And you need to grasp that big picture 

To see most work has deep worth.

Addictive

I like pre-shriveled raisins,

Otherwise known as grapes. 

They come in various colors,

And a number of curious shapes. 

I’m not sure why I like them. 

I guess it doesn’t matter. 

I fear they’re loaded with fructose,

And might just make me fatter!

I fear, but keep on munching. 

I tell myself they’re healthy. 

Their price is shooting upward

So I may soon be less wealthy!