Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Sometimes Silence Is Golden

You can fib a fair amount of the time
Without it being considered a crime
But do not lie
To the FBI.
You tell them a story that sounds sort of hokey
And next thing you know, you’re locked in the pokey.

Monday, October 30, 2017

What You Will

I had a million monkeys hitting keys.
One of them typed “Two bees or not two bees.”
I fired him for being such a tease.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

50k Report

I ran the Chicago Lakefront 50k yesterday. I've run it before, several times, but never on its Northside route.

It's a no-frills, low-budget, low-cost race. 50k is 31 miles, and here's how they layout the course: They mark a 5 1/6 mile stretch along the lakefront. You run out-and-back once, you've run 10 1/3 miles. You run out-and-back two more times, you've run 31 miles. Simplicity itself, right? You get a 31 mile course from a 5 mile stretch of path. And you only need 3 aid stations - 1 at each end, and 1 in the middle.

It was a chilly day, and I was running in the wrong shoes. I had accidentally left my Hokas at home on the dining room floor, so I ran in my Altras, which I used to run in back in 2016. So I have various excuses for running the course slowly. But I think I came in just under 7 hours, and that was my goal.

At one point, I looked over to the lake and there was a retriever dog swimming in the water, an orange toy in its mouth. It was playing fetch with its owner.

I thought I had a cold hard slog,
But I was glad I wasn't that dog.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Maybe Marlowe?

Who, if anyone, wrote Shakespeare’s plays?
I may just ponder this question for days!

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Marathon Mistakes

From Wisconsin:

For the second year in a row, the distance for the PNC Milwaukee Marathon has been wrong. Last year, the marathon course was measured too long... This year, the marathon course fell short.

Best of all, both years they used the same guys to measure the course. Third time's the charm!

The measurement mistake is a small thing, but it can mess up the life of those who are trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon.

Now for a bigger thing, from Italy:

"Italian Runner Wins Venice Marathon After All The Favorites Take A Wrong Turn"

The favorites - a bunch of Kenyans who were leading the race - took a wrong turn because they were following a guide motorcycle - who took a wrong turn. So this Eritrean-born Italian stays on course and wins.

If I had a suspicious mind, having watched too many Godfather movies, I might begin to wonder how that motorbike went astray.

Why did the Italian win?
Could it be the fix was in?

Monday, October 23, 2017

Ugh

There's a piece in today's WSJ (behind-a-paywall) puzzling over how to solve the problem of violent protesters showing up when someone like Richard Spencer (a quasi-Nazi) comes to talk at a public university.

The problem, from the author's point of view, is the expense.

But... what if we just started expelling violent protesters? Or, better yet, arresting them and trying them? I bet it would cut down on the expense.

Quasi-Nazis are a despicable crew,
But communist mobs are detestable too.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Universal Sole Trail Race

Ran a trail 5k in the woods west of my house today. Gorgeous weather. We've had a lot of Indigenous Summer this Autumn, and today was more of the same. It was a dog-welcoming race:



Doberman believes
She’d’ve won the 5K,
If not for the leash
That hindered her way.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Autumn Sunset

It’s earlier than I prefer it to sink,
But such a lovely swirl of pink!

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Cult Alert

The NY Times has a story about a twisted version of a self-help cult:

'To gain admission, they were required to give their recruiter — or “master,” as she was called — naked photographs or other compromising material and were warned that such “collateral” might be publicly released if the group’s existence were disclosed.'

That's bad enough, but the headline is the part where women voluntarily submitted to being branded with some symbol based on the founder's initials.

There can be strength in the psychological maneuver known as "surrendering to a higher power" - if that higher power is worthy. As in, for example, exiting Denial and surrendering to the Truth.

But if the higher power is more demonic than divine, then what comes next will be a disaster.

Look your ideal in the eye
And decide
Does it truly deserve
To be held up high?

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Low Overhead

Poetry’s the cheapest art.
A pen, a paper, and a heart
Are common things, it’s true.
And if your memory.’s good enough,
You don’t need any writing stuff;
The heart alone will do.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Induction

So now I know why in Hollywood movies it's so frequently the corporate executive who is the hypocritical villain.

Because, in the world that the writers know
It seems to be frequently so.

Don’t Take a Spill

I was reading about an annual race, in Buenos Aires, for people who wait tables. You race-walk holding a tray with a couple of bottles, trying to get to the finish first - without dropping anything.

Waiters who cannot wait
To deliver their trays with bottles,
Walk at a blistering rate,
Sliding open their throttles.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Numbers

I read today there were 1,500 portapotties at the Chicago Marathon. Lots of those were at the start/finish.

And there were about 40,000 runners.

Somehow, it seemed like there was always a line, particularly during the race. So my strategy from the beginning was not to over-hydrate.

Because I had a goal time and I had no certainty of making it!

When your goal is four fifty-nine
And all the minutes count,
Three people ahead in a line
Seems like a big amount.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Organized

So, where was the Screen Actors Guild
During all this stink?
I take it they're not as strong a union
As you might think.

Exposure

Complicit hypocrites preaching
The higher moral sense
Is a form of overreaching
As old as recorded events.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Proof of LIfe

Bureaucracy has trouble admitting to mistakes:

"Spanish woman wants to open up grave to prove she's alive"

Why open a grave? I really would hope,
No matter what the computer said,
You could prove she's alive with a good stethoscope.
"Yep, your heart's beating. I guess you're not dead."

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

It Happened Just Now

When an ambulance goes by, wailing,
It's mostly never-failing:
My lab lifts up her jowls
And lets out ghostly howls.

Monday, October 09, 2017

Dog Home Again

So that big dog I corralled on Saturday, turns out to be a Canary Mastiff, also known as a Perro de Presa Canario. He lives about 3 blocks away from me. He is back with his family.

A number of people thought he was a mixed breed, but he turns out to be a rare breed.

I liked that massive dog, so I am delighted,
That mastiff and master now are reunited.

Running Chicago

I ran the Chicago Marathon yesterday and I made my time goal of breaking the five hour barrier. I finished in 4:56.

My watch, a GPS device made by Garmin, seemed confused. It thinks I ran 27 miles yesterday and I heard the same from other GPS watch users. It kept adding distance throughout the race.

It's a good device, within its limitations, but I wished I had my regular running watch on my other wrist. As it was, I had to do math in my head to make sure I was running at the right pace. Unfortunately it gets harder and harder to do math as a marathon wears on.

Anyway, it all worked out. And now I'm headed to work.

I'm feeling great, even if
My gait is admittedly stiff.

Saturday, October 07, 2017

Today's Dog Adventure



This dog, a big brindle bullmastiff mix sort of dog, weighing at least 100 pounds, resided at my house for a few hours today. He had a collar, but no tags, and was wandering loose outside my house.

He seemed friendly to all the people he met. And my lab liked him. They ran around our yard together.

But I decided I couldn't keep him overnight. There were logistical challenges, and unknowns. Eventually I took him to the Animal Welfare League shelter in the nearby suburb of Chicago Ridge.

If you want something big to scare burglars away,
This guy can do it all day.

Friday, October 06, 2017

Who Am I Now?

If only I could hack
I'd get my identity back.
Right now it's lonely and sad
On a laptop in Volgograd.

Thursday, October 05, 2017

Herbal

My wife had noticed lately... strange cats in our yard. Not strange peculiar, just strange "I don't know whose cat that is".

She was trying to figure that out, when she remembered, "Oh, yeah, I've got catnip growing in the yard."

Other people's kitties slip
Into our yard to have a nip.

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Almost the Same Weather?

I ran a marathon 2 and a half weeks go, and I'm scheduled to run another in a few days, and I really hoped that this Sunday would be notably cooler than that Sunday 2 and a half weeks ago, but it's shaping up to be just a teeny bit cooler. Well, every little bit helps

The course will also be a slightly flatter.
But what if I've gotten slightly fatter?