Tuesday, May 29, 2018

The Challenge

There's this local race that I've been running faithfully since 1983. The course has changed a couple of times, and, more significantly for today's story, they added a second race to it. Originally it was a 10k, back when 10ks were popular. Now it's a 10k, and a separate 5k, now that 5ks are popular.

And, you can sign up to run them both, one after the other. This is called "The Double Challenge".

I've been rising to the challenge, and this year I came in second, in my age group, for the combined event.

I was 7th out of 20 on the 10k.

I was 5th out of 12 on the 5k.

But I was 2nd out of 6 for the hardy band who ran both. There's actually no "award" for that, except in my mind.

Whether you win or lose,
Is sometimes something you choose.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Only One Letter Left Out

Apparently there's no U.S. state
That's spelled with the letter Q.
Let's change the spelling of New Yorq.
It's the right thing to do.

Friday, May 25, 2018

GDRP as Applied to Me

As for storing your deets,
Each night I do an erase.
It’s almost too complete.
I may not remember your face!

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Sumer Is Icumen In

My plan is to un-tilt
The planetary axis,
Cut back the Weather Service,
And save big bucks on taxes!

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

beWaRe

zAny caPitaliZatioN
iS A thReat tO cLear menTatiOn.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Charms to Ruffle the Savage Breast

Apparently a lot of stores and "pubic spaces" now play classical music loudly to chase away louts:

"Experts trace the practice’s origins back to a drowsy 7-Eleven in British Columbia in 1985, where some clever Canadian manager played Mozart outside the store to repel parking-lot loiterers. Mozart-in-the-Parking-Lot was so successful at discouraging teenage reprobates that 7-Eleven implemented the program at over 150 stores, becoming the first company to battle vandalism with the viola."

It's an interesting idea, with some intuitive appeal, but then the author writes this:

"Today, deterrence through classical music is de rigueur for American transit systems."

I can tell you that's not true in Chicago. I ride transit here all the time, and I'm not hearing a lot of oboes.

The author of the piece is not too happy about this alleged trend, referring to it as "weaponized classical music," and seeming to take the attitude that this represents some kind of classist oppression. But I like this sort of music, so I say: bring it on!

They say that vandals
Can't abide Handel.
If so, it's no scandal
To chase them away.
Let Hallelujah play!

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Again

I fear that mad-shooter notoriety
Is bad for our society.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Perennial

Grandchildren are lovely creatures
With next-generation features.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Verbatim Theater, Verboten Viewpoint

I never heard of "verbatim theater" but apparently it's used to describe plays whose scripts are literally excerpts of verbatim testimony. You might recall that someone made a stir by doing that with one of the Hillary/Donald debates, keeping the actual words of the debate, but flipping the genders. People were surprised when this somehow seemed to make the Donald into a more sympathetic character.

Anyway, there's a new play based on that stinky attempted shakedown of Chevron Corp. on "environmental" grounds in Equador. I haven't followed the case, but the plaintiff's lawyer got in very serious trouble for unethical behavior.

It's a clever way to write a play. I mean, you don't have to write a thing! But you do have to edit. Mercilessly, no doubt. And it looks like he raised 24k to put on the play, so my hat's off to him.

What really interested me was that an actor dropped out of the play.

"Apparently, the actor had difficultly performing the part because it cast the environmental movement in a negative light, the sources say."

Of course that's the actor's right, but you do wonder why he took the part in the first place. I wonder if someone put pressure on him after he signed up for the part. Theater people don't confuse actors with their roles. If you play Iago, we don't imagine you must be a villain. But participating in a controversial play can be construed as "supporting it", I suppose.

What actor wants to be seen
As anti-green?

Gradualism

My mind is in a muddle.
Would someone please respond?
At what point does a puddle
Turn into a pond?

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Burro

In Italian, burro means butter.
In Spanish it means an ass.
My brain fills up with such clutter,
Which will not vanish, alas!

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Canine Grapevine

I’d heard that puppies on the Dog Star
Were up to something mysterious.
But you know how rumors are -
It wasn’t really Sirius.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Terza Terza Terza

As you may have noticed, I've been fiddling with terza rima. Something I hadn't paid attention to: there are a couple of ways to end them.

"...there are a few different ways you can choose to end your terza rima poem. One way is to simply end it with the last stanza. Another way is to add a couplet, which is a set of two lines which rhyme. Or, you can choose to add one extra line that stands alone to conclude your story. Try writing more than one terza rima, and experimenting with ending them in all different ways!"

The last way is the method used by Dante. I have followed that method so far, although I didn't isolate the last line visually.

I see that Robert Frost, in a poem included at the link, used the final couplet method, as did Shelley in his West Wind ode. Why haven't I noticed this before?

I suppose the Ode to the West Wind is the best known English poem in this form. He uses a lot of off-rhymes to solve the problem of "how do I keep coming up with 3 rhymes at a time?"

Terza Rima is an interloper in English,
Which is insufficiently jinglish.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

HMD

Laying an egg was evidently too easy
So evolution instead decided to
Ask that for months you wake up queasy
Lugging a child around inside of you.
You rose to the challenge and bore forth young.
Now, on this day, let your praises be sung!
Happy Mother's Day.
Happy heartache and rewards like no others day.

Is Unfriend Even A Word?

I unfriend in a somewhat random way.
Not in response to something said to me,
But in response to broad polemic spray,
A splatter pattern there for all to see.
Plus, as a rule it's someone I don't know,
Don't know in flesh and blood reality.
They do not notice that I choose to go.
I just evaporate from their big set
Of faces in the social network flow.
Not one has called to say they miss me yet.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Terza Rima

I’m reading Dante’s tale which takes the form
Of three-line stanzas braided into rhyme.
In English such tight chains are not the norm!

The poet starts by telling of a time
When he was wandering in a darkened wood,
And found a hole, and made a downward climb.

So soon enough it turned out that he stood
Before the undelightful gates of Hell.
You might thing going in would not be good,

But he persisted, and he lived to tell
The story of his journey in a poem.
This happened once or twice to me as well,
But I kept quiet after I got home.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Bear Necessities

UPI: "A Canadian zoo has been charged under the country's Wildlife Act after officials took a bear for ice cream at a Dairy Queen drive-through."

This is an incredibly friendly and well-behaved bear, as you can see here.



Although, if I was the DQ guy, I wouldn't be handing any food directly to the bear.

With such a well behaved bear,
I think it was only fair,
To drive her into town
To pick up treats she could gobble down.

Wednesday, May 09, 2018

At the Blood Donation Place

I probably go there twice a year on average, to donate blood. But it feels like a very familiar place to me. What's funny, is that something is always different. Today what really jumped out at me is that men and women were BOTH supposed to answer questions about being pregnant. I guess this is geared toward people who were born female but who subsequently declare themselves to be men.

Anyway, there's no maybe,
I cannot carry a baby
Anywhere inside my bod,
Honestly, so help me, God.

Monday, May 07, 2018

Pressuring for Song

The prosecutor says you'll take a fall,
Unless you tell him what he wants to hear.
Really, this is something for us all,
Not just the would-be songbird, to fear.

As a federal judge recently said:

“This vernacular is to ‘sing,’ is what prosecutors use. What you got to be careful of is, they may not only sing, they may compose.”

The reported reason to fear the tactic, is that often it brings forth a new set of lies, lies that the prosecutors are eager to accept as truth.

The witness sings
But does he compose?
For justice that brings
Worse woes.

Friday, May 04, 2018

Next on the Book Club Reading List

Why a stairway to heaven?
Why a highway to hell?
Is traffic that uneven?
Perhaps my friend Dante can tell.

Third Cousins

On the 23andMe website, in my DNA relatives list, there was a recently-added woman I didn't know.

Aside from some actual known relatives, she was the closest DNA relative I've seen online.

She indicated online that she was looking for relatives.

The website guessed she was my third cousin, and I just confirmed that guess was correct, using some information from her, and the Mormon(LDS) "family search" website which gives very nice access to US census records, from 1940 backwards.

The good news was that we had a last name in common in our family tree, and some geography in common too. Now that I've placed her into my family tree, I can point her at a line that goes back to the colonies and to Scotland.

Thank you 23 and Me,
For your relationship guess,
And for searchable census data,
Thank you L.D.S.!

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Safety First

Is there a way for me to surmise
Which airline window is likely to pop?
I’ll ask for an aisle seat in the skies
And keep my belt tight till we stop.

But They Didn’t Ask Me

This morning Facebook tried to get in everybody’s biz,
Trying to figure out, it seemed, just what hate speech is.
But lots of people hated being asked to take the quiz.