Demi-Monde

New York magazine ran a big investigation about the sort of woman that Tiger Woods was hanging out with in the VIP areas:

Most of his mistresses lived in a nebulous in-between world. Not prostitutes, no, but just about halfway there. As surely as he has changed the game of golf, so too has Woods exposed the grazing ground of the halfway-hooker, and her natural habitat, the nightclub.

Tracy Quan doesn't think it's really news:

Ever since the first self-important cavedude boasted that he "never pays for it," there have been "lite-hooks," "models," party wenches and so on who "don't charge for sex." But sex does happen, the rent gets paid -- and 21st-century bottle clubs are part of an ancient tradition.

I guess I would say that the transaction is ancient, but that the social customs surrounding it are always changing. That why I enjoyed the New York magazine piece, even though it was less than appetizing - it filled me in on a social scene I didn't know about.

There's supply, and demands,
and gifts changing hands,
but no prices are heard.
That line is left blurred.

Who Needs More Hospitals, Anyway?

The new Health Care law singles out a particular kind of hospital to punish:

While the new health reform law may seem threatening to many Americans, it is pure poison for physician-owned hospitals, which are being forced to drop plans for new hospitals and immediately halt expansion projects.
...
Provisions of the law "virtually destroy many of the hospitals that are currently under development, and leave little room for the future growth of the industry," Ms. Sandvig said.

I wonder if the non-profit hospitals were behind this. I wouldn't be surprised. "They have an unfair advantage," would be the story. "We need to level the playing field," would be the mantra.

They say they want to "level the playing field."
But they take up the law as the handiest weapon to wield
to crush competition while keeping their motives concealed.

They Didn't Start Out As Nonprofits

News-gathering businesses are in terrible financial shape in the U.S., and I've seen speculation that a Federal bailout may be in the works.

Some say it might take the form of NPR-izing everything - making all these news agencies into nonprofits with government funding. Like National Public Radio! Or the Public Broadcasting Service!

Why not have an American Newspaper Bureau?

But in a recent survey, news executives are not yet biting at the bait:

The survey found that 75 percent of all news executives, and 88 percent of newspaper executives, have “serious reservations” about direct government subsidies. Nearly half (46 percent) are even concerned with the idea of tax credits for news organizations, and only 19 percent support that idea despite ongoing industry woes.

My favorite quote from the story:

“If the government becomes the ‘money bags’ for journalism, journalism will become the ‘bag man’ for the government,” wrote a member of RTDNA. “This would be an assault to the First Amendment of the Constitution.”

Subsidies are a fine way to finesse
freedom of the press.

You only pay for acceptable views,
and you get less offensive news.

Nothing is actually banned
but it all turns terribly bland.

The Polish Tragedy

Reportedly it was an experienced pair of pilots who crashed that plane with the Polish president and cabinet:

Both Captain Protasiuk and his second officer, Major Robert Grzywna, were experienced pilots with more than 5,000 hours of flying experience between them.

I did hear someone express the opinion that experienced pilots were more likely to attempt risky landings.

I suppose that makes sense. They feel more in control. They have survived previous dangerous situations.

Thinking you are danger's master
sometimes leads to disaster.

Can of Worms

Autoimmune diseases, such as asthma and allergies, present many puzzles.

But how about this for creepy:

...people infected with parasitic worms suffer less from allergies and other immune diseases,

Must we re-invite
the parasite?

Or can we please invent a med with a fancy name
that works the same?

But Are They Illegal?

They walk among us:

One in five adults believe aliens are on earth, disguised as humans...

The poll questioned 23,000 adults in 22 countries and found that more than 40 per cent of people from India and China believe that alien life exists with a human facade on this planet.

I must say I find it spooky,
that here on this planet we share
theories incredibly kooky
are simply everywhere.

Somewhere Over The Foodchain

Zebricorns gallop on black and white rainbows
whinnying high in the African sky
laughing at lions who gaze up with longing
hungry for mouthfuls of zebricorn pie.

Arthur

Why was he able
to draw the sword from the stone?
It was sort of a knack
or something like luck.

At any rate, it came unstuck,
and he stood alone,
no going back,
holding a blade,
knowing some men would bow
and others attack.

So he had to figure out how
these warring knights could be made
to let the feuding cease
so they could sit in peace
around a table.

The Knife Man

We read The Knife Man, by Wendy Moore, for book club. Good review by Jim Henderson here. It's about John Hunter (1728-1793), who is considered the father of modern surgery.

It's not often you read a book where a body snatcher proves to be a true hero.

Of course, dissecting the dead is still a key feature of medical education.

To know where to cut
you need to know what
is under the skin
your patient is in.

John Lennon Would Be Larfing

Strange days indeed:

Two women tried to board an easyJet flight with a dead relative strapped into a wheelchair, saying that he was disabled, frail and “always likes to sleep like that”.

The widow and stepdaughter of Curt Willi Jarant, 91, insist that he was moving and breathing on the way to Liverpool John Lennon airport. But staff called a medical team after noticing that he was cold and motionless.

It was a flight to Germany, where the three were from. Maybe they meant to bury him there. But there are rules:

Bodies being repatriated across international boundaries are required to have the necessary paperwork and be contained inside hermetically sealed, zinc-lined coffins in the cargo hold.

Sounds like that would be costly, in time and money.

It's extra expensive to travel when dead.
It's cheaper to be a "sleeper", instead.

But though he had a valid ticket,
authorities said it wasn't cricket.

Quake Quack

Deepak Chopra has accepted responsibility for creating that earthquake the other day:

"Had a powerful meditation just now -- caused an earthquake in Southern California," Chopra wrote to his nearly 179,000 Twitter followers shortly after the quake.

And then, to clarify: "Was meditating on Shiva mantra & earth began to shake," he tweeted. "Sorry about that."

Please, everybody, as a public service, if you're in California, lay off the Shiva mantra!

He meditates,
and tectonic plates
begin to shake,
and soon a quake
disturbs the earth.

So he says, for what it's worth.

Birth Trend

American births are down. It's the recession!

But births to women in their early 40s... are up.

Is it because they have more cash
to pay for the cost of an OB doc?

Or are they simply making a dash
to beat the biological clock?

Sex Guru

India - it's a lot like America!

A Hindu holy man with thousands of followers across India resigned as head of a religious organization on Tuesday after police began investigating his role in a sex scandal, officials said.

He says the tapes are fake,
but is going to take a break.

The Shock Of Being In Hock

Now they tell us:

Lost amid last month's passage of the new health care law, the Congressional Budget Office issued a report showing that within this decade, President Obama's own budget sends the U.S. government to a potential tipping point where the debt reaches 90 percent of gross domestic product.

National debt -
how much worse can it get?

We may find out yet.

Hoppy Easter

The Easter Bunny's legs
are surely extra fast,
hiding all those eggs
before the night is past.

7.7 Miles

My seasonal running habits, a sonnet:

Because I run one marathon a year,
some people think I must run every day.
Not true. And in the colder months, I fear
it's more like once a week - the treadmill way.

But then I'll say "I do run to the train,"
and people smile, thinking that's just a joke,
although, in fact, I've spoken true and plain.
In the morning I often go for broke,

galloping at high speed to catch the choo-choo,
taking the quarter mile at high speed.
Perhaps such running's something you would pooh-pooh;
it does, however, fill a functional need.

Today - warm weekend weather! So I ran
more than I have since all that snow began.

Amusements of Catdom

When I came home from work yesterday, my wife told me that one of the cats was missing, for a couple of hours already

When last seen, the cat had been out with Marsha in the yard when she was gardening. Had she wandered away?

I volunteered to go on a cat-hunt by bicycle. But when I opened the garden shed to get my bike, out came the cat!

Silly cat, don't go sneaking in the shed
when your mistress turns her head!

Orpheus Unplugged

The legend, redone for fun:

Orpheus was a god who strummed
the ancient lyre, and he was bummed.

The woman he loved above all ladies
got bit by a snake and sent to Hades.

Therefore he chased her down to hell
and played a concert there so well,
they said she could follow him home, if he
never looked over his shoulder to see
just where she was.

                    But sad to say,
he did look back, and she *poofed* away.

Day of the Fool

We come to the end of April Fool.
I hope the pranks you played weren't cruel.

Humor can heal
or sting like steel.

Primate Pioneers

As you may know, there are 2 kinds of monkeys: "Old World" (Africa and Asia) and "New World" (Central & South America).

Scientists think that monkeys originated in the Old World, and then rode rafts to the New World.

All the other monkeys laughed
when I said: Look at my raft!

I ignored them, and, what a thrill,
I'm cruising to Brazil!

Okay, that's not the theory. The theory is that they were sitting on big coastal masses of vegetation, on the shores of the Paleo-Atlantic. Then the vegetation broke away.

The voyage occurred by error,
and they floated away in terror.

But the Atlantic wasn't so wide
and they reached the other side.