Semifortified

I like to keep
Old stones in a heap.
I believe in stockpiles
Of rock piles.

Drenched

It seems like couples in a movie
Always laugh and think it’s groovy
When they get caught in the rain.
But in real life it’s a pain.
I suspect that it’s a narrative device
To get their wet clothes off in just a trice.

Retrotech

If Dante had had a smartphone
He wouldn’t have needed a guide.
He could have traversed the afterlife all alone
Though I’m still not sure how he did it without having died.

Grumpy

I've yelled in the midst of a restaurant crowd...
Just because the music was too damn loud.

A Breed Apart

Labrador retrievers
Are rather firm believers
In obtaining the max
Number of snacks.
You might say they're high achievers

Ciardi's Couplet

I've been reading the Ciardi translation of the Divine Comedy, and there's a 2-line poem I remembered as being Ciardi's. I had a read it in a book at a bookstore, I think, and it had stuck in my memory. But I hadn't verified it for a long time. Well, Google came through today, and here's the whole poem. I didn't recall the title at all, and I was unsure of the punctuation, but the words are just as I remembered them.

Dawn of the Space Age

First a monkey, then a man.
Just the way the world began.

I love that little poem. One of the many things I like about it, is its positive attitude about the space age. The intellectuals and artists at the time were mostly looking down their noses at the space age, when they should have been looking up at the worlds of possibility.

La Comedia

I have to say that Dante's famous work
Is somewhat short on Comedy in fact.
I hesitate to slam him as a jerk,
But damning old foes is his favorite act.
Well, maybe not his favorite. He does love
A former girlfriend, who can still attract
His heart below the earth and then above.

McCartney in Liverpool

If you're a McCartney fan,
I thought this was very well done.
His voice, of course, is gone,
But it looks like he's still having fun.

Thank You, Supreme Ones

Does the high court ruling on sales tax
Apply to the dark web, too?
It’s strictly for a friend I ask -
It’s nothing I would do.

Post-Downpour

After a great flood
Ants scurry to excavate
Their homes free of mud.

It’s So Nice Out There

I considered changing my mind,
But it was too hard to find.
I’m not sure where it’s gone.
Maybe out on the lawn.

Reintarnation

Metempsychosis is not
A form of clinical craziness,
The details of how it might work
Are subject to terrible haziness.
But if I come back as a sloth,
Please forgive my laziness.

Pondering

Could it be more than happenstance
That punishment starts with pun?
Do you think that puns, perchance,
Are the painfullest sort of fun?

First World Third Place Problems

I did a fun triathlon this morning. They actually let me sign up on Saturday for a triathlon Sunday. Which was great for my procrastinating self. Except, somehow the late signer-uppers didn't have a prepared race-packet at packet-pickup. There was a special procedure for us. Which went wrong somehow. I believe they began by giving me the wrong bib number - giving me somebody else's number. So that at the end of the race, on the computer, when I entered my bib number, I saw my time with a 35-year-old's name.

I tried to get the timing people to correct this. They said they did. But somehow I ended up with my first name misspelled, and still 35 years old. Which put my results in the Male 35-39 age group.

I think - think, mind you - that I took third place in my age group. Just barely. Out of 4 guys in my age group.

This is deeply into the realm of first world problems. In retrospect, I'm thinking I shouldn't have bothered trying to get this straightened out. I probably could have left the race an hour earlier!

It's very flattering, I must say,
When all the hair I have is gray,
To be mis-classified this way.

World Cup

I hear there's a world cup of some kind.
Good luck to you all, but I hope you don't mind
If I say that a sport with a ball you can't throw
Simply seems like the wrong way to go.

Gustave Doré Illustration

In Dante's Hell, there are souls
Whose soles stick out of holes.

Unexpected Waves

A crypto current sea
Is a choppy place to be.

My Dopy Digital Assistant

Thank you, Alexa, for waking up during random conversations,
And confessing you can’t answer our imagined interrogations.

Free Advice

Please don’t stare at your phone
While walking along outside,
Because that’s what I’m doing too,
And I fear we may collide.

Foul is Fair

My dog stands ready to sniff -
No question of when or if.
You think some smell is horrible?
To her, it's just adorable.

Don't Lose The Thread

The main trouble with time travel,
Is when everything starts to unravel,
And it turns out that I was never born.
That always leaves me feeling forlorn!

Niche

We made people keep their loose dogs off the street,
Where coyotes now roam, hunting bunnies to eat.

First Tri of Summer

Hard-won advice for the day:
If you change the pitch of your bicycle seat
Remember the job’s not complete
Till you tighten it all the way...
Or you may find yourself riding at a pitch you hadn’t intended,
And relieved but sore once the ride has ended.

What Is Vivitrol?

They've been running this ad on the electronic billboard at the train station downtown. It has some fine print lines at the bottom, but I've never gotten close enough to see what they say. I can only see this message: "What is Vivitrol?" This question is accompanied by a good looking young woman with nice blonde hair, staring straight out, with a serious expression.

I guessed it was hair product. Nope. Wrng

It's an anti-addiction shot you get, a medicine that makes opioids not work on you. It blocks the high.

And the gimmick with just asking what is the drug? That may be a legal work-around, to not have to list the no-doubt long list of dangerous side effects.

This all previously came up in Boston, apparently, on the Red Line. Here's a photo snatched off the internet.



This is the sort of mystery ad
That has the potential to drive me mad.

Skynet Not Yet

Some say we’re doomed to die
At the hands of deep-learning AI.
But that day has not yet come.
AI is still kind of dumb.