To Do List

Whether or not it meets with your approval,

My goal today is mostly snow removal. 

I’ve cleared the whole thing twice but it’s still falling,

And so I hear my blower duty calling.

Headrest

 Before pillows were invented

People sometimes used rocks

And woke with faces dented,

Which often came as a shock.

Not So Noble

Scientists have recorded the sound 

Of helium atoms joking around. 

Typically when there's only three 

The sound you hear is: HeHeHe.

Speculative Investment

I buried my bucks behind a row of bushes. 

Somehow I never made a gosh darn dime. 

Now I find out - that's not the same as "Hedge Fund". 

Misleading name! I tell you, it's a crime!

Diagrammatic

I once believed I was a grammatical menace, 

Able to diagram every possible sentence, 

But then I started to sweat, and things got hairier 

When I encountered this: "The more the merrier!"

Too Friendly

Friend requests

From bikini-clad ladies,

I must confess

I regard as shady. 

And if they’re bubbling 

In hot tub dreams,

I find it troubling 

In the extreme!

Reductio Ad Adbsurdum

I weigh much less in kilograms. 

 So I switched my digital scale. 

 I look the same on conference cams, 

But the numbers tell the tale! 

I resolved to lose weight in ‘21, 

I thought it might be tough, 

But now that resolution’s done - 

It really wasn’t rough!

Q

I did not follow Q-anon. 

I take it Q-anon is gone. 

At least the mysterious Who, 

Presenting himself as Q, 

Whose views got so much traction 

Is mostly missing in action.

Rumors

The 25th amendment puts the bar high 

To evict the elected White House guy. 

If he says, "I'm capable. I'm staying in it," 

You need two thirds of the House and the Senate.

Advertisers Love These Two

Nutritious and delicious -
What a convenient rhyme!
But they overlap on dishes
Less than half the time.

YIP

 In ‘68 my dad said no,

To the downtown riots thou shalt not go!

The prez nomination was in contention -

The Yippies besieged the big convention,

But their revolution proved short and fleeting 

And I missed out on the tear gas and beating.

A Walk

 It was just above freezing, temperature-wise,

And clouds were supposed to be clogging the skies,

But somehow they cleared, and the power called solar

Lit up my face - how perfectly polar -

To walk through the snow, while basking in sun,

Briskly enjoyable - glad when it’s done!

Resolution

New year’s dietary resolutions 

To be thin

Cannot begin

Until all the Christmas candy

Is consumed...

I am doomed!

Plunging Into 2021

I drove to the lake. 

I took a dive. 

Cold water makes

You feel alive!

At least I felt

Highly motivated -

To get myself 

Evacuated!

Inside the car

Was toasty and warm,

Which I prefer

As a general norm.