Flaky Induction

They tell you each snowflake’s unique.
I fear that this claim may be weak.
I’ve watched them float down in the air.
They come way too fast to compare!

Forecast Revised

I thought I’d already enjoyed
The final snow of spring
But now my hopes are buoyed
By what tomorrow will bring!
And really, who’s to say
It won’t snow more in May?

Balbo Monument

Ancient pillar from Italy
Posing prettily
Here in Chicago, a gift
From a dictator
With whom we later
Developed a major rift.

Admissions

News stories indicate that a couple, who are charged in the college admissions scandal, are leaning toward a “we didn’t think we were doing anything wrong” defense.

They do dn’t know their money
Was going someplace funny.

Bard Schmard

Shakespeare said a lot of stuff first,
Which proves he really was the worst.
Why on earth should we lavish praise
On a guy who only spoke in cliches?

Postprandial

I’m going to write a ballad
About gorging on egg salad
And chewing till it hurts
On peeps for just desserts.

Redact Me!

I'm spending tomorrow in hiding
So I don't have to hear about this report,
And so I can put off deciding
Which new interpretation to support.

Avian Sounds

A woodpecker’s rat-a-tat-tat,
A dove’s insistent cooing -
My busy feathered friends
Inform me what they’re doing.

I wonder, while I listen,
To chatty sparrows chirping,
Why I never hear
Any birdies burping?

Notre Dame

We think we have tamed it, but fire remains
A dangerous friend, with death in her veins.

Frozapril

It’s charming to see the day bring
The last snow of spring.

Right Day Wrong Number

When Friday the thirteenth falls on the twelfth,
Jason doesn’t know what to do with himselfth.

Speaking of Across the Pond

I don't have details yet about which day it will be playing, but Kitties In Space, in its ten-minute incarnation, will be part of this science fiction theatre festival in London, England.

It's hard to imagine... Socks and Mittens with British accents. But, why not?

Kitty cat, kitty cat, where have you been?
I've been to London to visit the Queen.
Kitty cat, kitty cat, why did you go?
I wanted to be in a fun sci-fi show!

On The Bare Branch

Are wasps asleep inside all winter long?
If I climb up to visit, is it wrong?

Understatement

Tell me, are people still fond
Of saying “across the pond”
When referring to the Atlantic?
That pond is pretty gigantic.

Headturning

Saw an orange Lamborghini
Driving along
On a plain old city street.
It just seemed wrong.

Something that exotic
Ought to be banned
From every mundane spot
Across the land.

Looking For Anvils In All The Wrong Places

If you happen to have a big anvil you're looking to declutter, my daughter-in-law is looking for one. She says she's "asking for a friend". I hope her friend isn't Wile E. Coyote.

You might think it's impossible to rhyme anvil.
Fortunately, there's an Illinois town: Danville.

Need to Know

I often see headlines that shout:
“What you need to know about!”
But reading on, I mostly find
I didn’t need it in my mind.

Semifinal Suspense

It’s true he threw three free throws through.
I find that's hard to say.
My tongue gets in the way.

Mexican Border Not Yet Closed

Let everyone be alerted:
Avocado crisis averted.

Privation

An avocado shortage
From coast to coast?
Among the foodie voters
Trump would be toast!

Tutero

I’m writing a phone app called Tutero,
To teach babies English in utero.
Study before you swaddle!
Formula ads are our business model.

Wasted

To save water we have got to pass a new rule.
It is now against the law for babies to drool.
April fool.