Disappointing

I see Facebook ads that promise
To show X "destroying" Y,
But when I break down and watch,
Nobody seems to die.

Story In Pictures

You can make out that I was working hard on the bike, then felt ready to wilt mid-run, but picked up my attitude at the end.

At the finish of the Chicago Tri,
I was trying hard to look like
I wasn't about to die.

Nomenclature

There’s a disappointing restaurant
Known as Panda Express.
A panda steak is all I want,
But they never, ever say yes.

Heat Index

They shortened the triathlon today
Because of the heat,
So I’m just exhausted and tired
Instead of completely beat.

Chicago Triathlon

The guy who gave the mandatory course talk yesterday referred repeatedly to the beautiful view in the bridge over the Illinois River.

That river is why this city is here, but it’s not the Illinois. It’s the Chicago.

What he said was mostly true:
It’s a lovely view.

It’s Bananas

It seems that somehow impeachment
Has little to do with peaches,
But rather concerns bad apples,
From what my textbook teaches.

Endurance Insanity

I just read my second story about a woman planning to do 50 long (Ironman distance) triathlons in 50 days, in the 48 contiguous states plus twice in Haiti. I thought it sounded almost impossible, but then I saw there was a guy who did it already.

The guy who did it says he averaged about 14 hours per triathlon. That's most of your waking day, right there. So when did he sleep? Well, in Tennessee he says he fell asleep on the bike and crashed. Anyway, if this appeals to you, you'd better be a person who can get by on short hours of sleep.

These aren't regular organized triathlons, of course. These are stunts, where you run a course you design yourself. If you wanted to cheat, the opportunities would seem to be there. But maybe nowadays these people hook themselves up to electronic tracking devices and broadcast their locations real time, with pictures, as they move, on Facebook or Twitter. That's the modern way!

I'll just say what I feel:
This holds no appeal.
An Ironman's a brutal test.
Afterwards, you need a rest.

Probably

How does cotton get preshrunk?
Does it involve a warm-water dunk?

Diet

I heard word of the new Snake Diet
And studied its fast/binge laws.
Although I don’t totally buy it,
I’m trying to un-hinge my jaws.

The Matchmaker, The Film

I'm acting in Wilder's The Matchmaker, so I spent some time looking at the old film of the play tonight. I play the miserly half-millionaire, Horace Vandergelder. Paul Ford played him in the movie. Walter Matthau played the same role in Hello Dolly, the musical made from the play. I've long been very partial to Matthau, and I may want to watch Hello Dolly next. In the little excerpts I've seen, the camera loves his interplay with Barbara Streisand.

I know some actors purposely avoid looking at previous portrayals of the characters they are working on. But I never feel overly influenced by such looking. I feel like I pick up a few possibilities. But I'm not going to become Walter Matthau, or even try to.

Speaking of influences, this play is thought to have an ancestry that traces back to a play by Terence, the ancient Roman playwright:

"Many of the stock personages in Phormio directly correspond to characters in The Merchant of Yonkers: the rich old man, the young men looking for brides, and the parasitus, who finds her incarnation, or rather apotheosis, in Dolly Levi."

Accept that you will be influenced,
Though hopefully not overmuch.
There's much you may learn from tradition,
But do let it show your own touch.

Sample Marketing Material

The show is in rehearsals
And barring any reversals
I'm expecting lots of yuks -
And the price is right - ten bucks!

Indistinct Singing

I heard a not-too-new pop song on the radio, and it got caught in my head, and I realized I didn’t really know the words. Usually I know enough of the words to find lyrics on Google, but I was failing on that front.

So I downloaded an app called Sound Hound to my phone, and sang just the melody to the app, using La-la-la as the lyrics. And it found it. I’m impressed by its ability to pick a melody out of my singing, and I was impressed by my own inability to have picked any full three-word-phrase from the song, which was Say It Right by Nelly Furtado.

At least I could hum it right
And didn’t have to stay up all night
Wondering over words
I never quite heard.

August Twelfth

“Twelfth” has just one vowel
But lots of length.
Still it’s beaten out
By good old “strength”.

USPS Rebranding

“Snail mail” sounds derogatory, so...
I’m recommending “lettres de escargot”!

A New Part

Brain, embrace the challenge of size:
Lots of lines to memorize!

Freedom

Individual rights
Give some people frights,
But the best is attained
When no one's enchained.

Neonatal Vision

I suppose it’s quite a surprise,
Having lurked in the dark endless days,
To suddenly open your eyes
And meet your mother’s gaze.

Violence

I see in the news that 40 people were shot in Chicago in a 7 hour span. Four of them died. It's mostly the usual stuff - mostly gang rivalries in rough African American neighborhoods. It was a hot weekend, so lots of people were outdoors, which always seems to increase the likelihood of shootings.

Earlier this week, a couple of ministers led an "anti-violence" protest march through the nice neighborhood near Wrigley Field, where the Cubs play. The march snarled traffic during evening rush hour. The ministers said their goal was to "redistribute the pain", which sounds like a threat, and which got a lot of local press coverage... but which didn't really seem to scare anyone much.

There's a lot going on with these shootings. But I want to talk about one particular problem where witnesses won't i.d. perpetrators. Sometimes this is because witnesses are scared of the perpetrators. But not always. Sometimes this is because witnesses - and even victims - think the matter should be settled between the gangs themselves, that it's the gangs' business, not really police business.

These sorts of attitudes
Help continue the feuds.

Red Blooded

The blood donation people call our house everyday. I've given gallons over the years, but nowadays I think I average 1 or 2 pints a year. I have the sense it affects my race times, so I like to give in the cold months, when I'm not racing. When I looked it up recently, trying to stick to substantial studies, it does seem statistically likely to slow me down a bit.

I remember mentioning to a doctor once that I thought I could feel the effect of donating on my running times, even after 2 weeks. He seemed skeptical. But, maybe it's all about the fact that I actually push up to my personal maximum when I race. And, nowadays, my personal maximum speed isn't all that maximum, so I really notice any slow-down!

The standard donation info online says that you replace all your red blood cells in 8 weeks. But apparently that's an average.

"Blood donors are allowed to give one pint of blood every eight weeks. A major concern is that about 25-35 percent of regular donors develop iron deficiency."

That's a big percentage of people who evidently need more than 8 weeks. Anyway, it turns out that taking extra iron helps your red cells recover faster. So... what the heck... Even though I normally resist dietary supplementation...

I decided to take some iron pills
To make up for my racing ills.

Sounds

Distant din of children at the park,
Summer evening long before it’s dark.

I.D. Required

My grocer said I shouldn't be makin'
Breakfast with Canadian bacon
Unless I could demonstrate
That my passport was up to date.

Mean vs. True - What Should I Do?

It kind of annoys me when I'm outside, and I see the sun is at its highest point of the day - due south - and I think to myself that it's true noon. The I look at my watch, and often it's not that close to noon! 

That's because our official time keeping is done by means of the "mean sun" rather than the "true sun".

"Now, the variations in the true Sun's motion causes it to sometimes be ahead of, sometimes lag behind, and sometimes be neck and neck with the mean Sun."

Also, because Daylight Savings Time really throws things off around here.

I was thinking of switching to solar noon.
I planned to do it very soon.
I bought a super precise sun dial,
But late at night, it's not worthwhile.