Delayed

 It’s cold.

The train is late.
I stand
And refrigerate.

At last,
The train is here.
I sit,
And thaw my rear.

Purchase Plan

I'm buying the Brooklyn Bridge - 

I have a secret goal: 

Once I purchase it, 

I'm going to charge a toll. 

I'll make it free on Sundays, 

Just because I'm nice, 

But if you honk your horn, 

I might just charge you twice.

Flashback

Soviet student of ichthyology

Was good at studying sharks

But struggled with political philosophy 

In which he got low Marx. 

Drama

A slapology is an apology 

That adds to the first offence: 

"Sorry for calling you stupid, 

It's just that you're horribly dense." 

A slapologist is not an expert 

On whether a slap was real - 

For that you must ask Mr. Rock, 

"Exactly how did that feel?"

Fine Dining

I opened a restaurant on the moon, 

But it was a failure, I fear. 

I found the reason, rather soon: 

It had no atmosphere.

Dogstacles

Let sleeping dogs lie 

They like to say. 

But what if said dog 

Is right in your way? 

Then you just might 

Be required to wake 

That snoring pooch 

With a shout or a shake.

Midmonth

Under an arch 

On the Ides of March 

Poor Caesar met his doom. 

A really smart guy 

Not ready to die 

But he failed to read the room.

Origin by Dan Brown, and the Origin of a Saying

I finished this book yesterday and I am here to complain about it, or at least about part of it. Dan Brown is the guy who wrote the Da Vinci Code, which I very much enjoyed in an alternate-universe kind of way. This book has the same hero, a professor at Harvard who is supposed to have written a book called "Christianity and the Sacred Feminine". So you might think this professor character would be familiar with the gospels. 

However. On page 349 of the paperback, an artificial intelligence program declares: "Those who live by the sword will die by the sword." 

And what does this expert on Christianity think to himself? "Langdon did a double take. Did Edmond's computer really just paraphrase Aeschylus?" 

I did an eye roll. Does this author really not know that this commonplace phrase comes from Jesus?

Aeschylus apparently did say something similar, sort of, maybe, depending on how it gets translated. But as quoted, it sounds just like what Jesus said, according to the Gospel of Matthew. And it's the version from Jesus that is a commonplace saying throughout our culture. There is nothing remarkable about someone knowing that phrase! 

This is a mainstream best seller by a popular author who makes a point in his afterword of thanking all his wonderful editors and the helpful historians and religious scholars who went through his text. Has no one in this collection of editors ever read the gospels? 

The editors he hired 

Were less than divinely inspired.

Taking Off From Phoenix

Sitting in the airport on a jet, 

I sometimes find I viscerally forget 

Just where I am. It’s like a movie set - 

A space apart - but then the plane takes flight 

And there below me, whether day or night, 

Some city sprawls, recalling to my sight 

My current location 

Just as I abandon it for my next destination.

Reading Rilke

When reading through Rilke I go on a difficult journey, 

And twist in my core over things that I love and detest. 

He freely associates like an aeolian harp, 

The winds of experience buffet his delicate soul, 

Or sometimes caress it and he cannot summon the strength 

To feel any certainty over the things that he feels, 

Finds questions, not answers, and so he goes rambling forth, 

Keeps hoping for some revelation to seize him and hold him 

But always the angel takes wing - and leaves him bereft.

Phillis Wheatley

I'm a Words With Friends player. They have themed robot games, with a new roster of robots on a weekly basis. 

This week the theme is Black European Heroes, where you are "playing" famous black Europeans. Alexandre Dumas is one. He was, indeed, part black. As was Alexander Pushkin, who did not make it into this particular list of luminaries. 

But you know who made the cut? Phillis Wheatley. This startled me, because, as a rule she is counted as African American, not European. Born in Africa. Died in America. But her book of poems was published in England. And that's about as close to European as you can get her. 

If you say that Phillis Wheatley 

Wrote cleverly and sweetly, 

I'm readily agreeing. 

But calling her European 

Is something I'm not seeing.

"Today's the day for an online play."

Escape

If you want to escape the fact checkers, 

Stay away from facts! 

Ever since giving them up, 

I feel much more relaxed.

Meaning to be Found

Many meaningless jobs 

Are more meaningful than we think. 

The person who flips a burger, 

The person who cleans a sink, 

Perform in the great machine 

That furthers life here on earth, 

And you need to grasp that big picture 

To see most work has deep worth.

Addictive

I like pre-shriveled raisins,

Otherwise known as grapes. 

They come in various colors,

And a number of curious shapes. 

I’m not sure why I like them. 

I guess it doesn’t matter. 

I fear they’re loaded with fructose,

And might just make me fatter!

I fear, but keep on munching. 

I tell myself they’re healthy. 

Their price is shooting upward

So I may soon be less wealthy!

Other Side

The moon does not have a side that’s always dark. 

It simply has a face it does not show 

To people who are firmly planet-parked. 

When I was a child, we simply did not know 

This other side, admittedly harsh and stark, 

But part of the place providing that friendly glow.

Like Keeping Them Home For More Than A Year

People keep saying that children are very resilient. 

Are they? Were you? Or are they rather susceptible? 

I don't have an answer that's crisp or especially brilliant, 

But worry some things should not have been acceptable.

Calendar

An examination of history, 

Even one that’s fairly cursory, 

Reveals that every date

Is a major anniversary. 

The calendar is too crowded!

The solution is simple and clear:

We need to stop using the same months 

Over and over each year!

Second Opinion

If you talk to two physicians 

About the same condition 

Let's say... the chickenpox, 

But you find they disagree 

That's no big deal - you see, 

It's just a paradox.

Twelfth, Fifth or Sixth?

My friend Denise reminds me it’s the twelfth day of Christmas.
And I’m glad for the reminder because it’s so easy to miss,
Especially with the abandonment of the business
Of giving people rings and birds to match the day it is!