Sunday, February 07, 2010

Snow Day!

The Federal Government in Washington is closed on Monday due to a snowstorm.
Closing the federal government for one day costs taxpayers roughly $100 million in lost productivity...
I really wonder where that estimate came from. Federal employees produced it, I bet.

On the bright side, presumably various crippling new regulations will be put off for a day.

The economy may get a boost
from regulations unproduced.

Toy Story

Hit the panic button - it's a gun!
...a 9-year-old student at PS 52 in Staten Island, N.Y., was in the school cafeteria Tuesday playing with LEGOs when he was taken to the principal’s office and threatened with suspension. One of his toys was a LEGO policeman that holds a 2-inch plastic gun. The school has a no-tolerance policy when it comes to toy guns.
A lot of these "no-tolerance" policies are "no sense" policies.

A 2-inch Lego gun
will never hurt anyone.

The kids learn a lesson, all right:
some teachers are not too bright.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Complexities of Victimization

In most colleges, women now heavily outnumber men. These women are victimized!
Women on gender-imbalanced campuses are paying a social price for success and, to a degree, are being victimized by men precisely because they have outperformed them, Professor Campbell said.
This confuses 2 distinct groups of men. The men who were outperformed are NOT in college. The men who are "victimizing" are the high-achievers who kept up.

The NY Times points out a parallel kind of victimization:
In this way, some colleges mirror retirement communities, where women often find that the reward for outliving their husbands is competing with other widows for the attentions of the few surviving bachelors.
Pity the poor wife
who out-competes her husband in the race for longer life
and regrettably then
finds a shortage of men.

These women are improperly rewarded!
Could excess men from China be imported? 

Friday, February 05, 2010

Aelita & Shiny Boxes

We saw Aelita and Shiny Boxes at Dream Theatre tonight, a double bill of plays by Bil Gaines and Mishelle Renee Apalategui.

Both were surreal and involved multiple murders and the walking and talking dead. But they went in completely different directions. Aelita is an abstract philosophical fantasy. Shiny Boxes is a poetic memory of a birthday party gone terribly wrong.

Due to a mishap, Anna Weiler, who directed both pieces, had to step in at the last minute and act in Aelita as well - just for this weekend. Apparently she was up till late last night memorizing her lines. But she never seemed to miss a beat. Probably it helped to have been directing it for weeks and weeks!

Performances were wonderful. I particularly enjoyed Alicia Reese as the motherly Magda, Judith Lesser as the flirtatious Cannon, and Giau Truong as the gigantic Amboy.

When the plays had ended,
the living dead, all mended,
arose and bowed
while we clapped aloud.

Ancient Timex Time

"The first computer under 100 dollars." Yes, I had one, a Timex-Sinclair 1000.

It was pretty horrid. But I did learn Basic on the darn thing.

It didn't come with any sort of disk, floppy or hard. Allegedly you could hook up a regular cassette player to use for offline storage. That worked sometimes.

There was also a VisiCalc-like program available for this 2k machine. What was VisiCalc?
VisiCalc was the first spreadsheet program available for personal computers. It is often considered the application that turned the microcomputer from a hobby for computer enthusiasts into a serious business tool. VisiCalc sold over 700,000 copies in six years.
Before Lotus, and long before Excel,
VisiCalc served accountants well.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Free of Prejudice

When I was a kid, computers didn't play chess well. That's ancient history.

(Nerd alert - I actually owned a Boris chess computer, in the late 70's).

Now people try to learn from the computer's style of play. Gary Kasparov says:
It is entirely free of prejudice and doctrine and this has contributed to the development of players who are almost as free of dogma as the machines with which they train. Increasingly, a move isn't good or bad because it looks that way or because it hasn't been done that way before. It's simply good if it works and bad if it doesn't. Although we still require a strong measure of intuition and logic to play well, humans today are starting to play more like computers.
Those computers are tyrannical,
making our play more mechanical,
unless you're hell-bent on choosing
a whimsical path toward losing.

Colorful Record

Illinois had some too-close-to-call primaries Tuesday.

Who will run for Governor? We don't know. Not for the elephants. And not for donkeys.

But we DO know who will represent for Lt. Gov. And in the case of the donkeys, it's not pretty:
Scott Lee Cohen -- a pawnbroker who shocked state Democratic leaders Tuesday night by winning the party's nomination for lieutenant governor -- was arrested about four-and-a-half years ago and accused of holding a knife to a former live-in girlfriend's neck, newly obtained court records show.

The misdemeanor charge against Cohen was dropped weeks later when the woman -- who had just been found guilty of prostitution -- failed to show up to testify, according to those records.
You might think Lt. Gov. isn't really an important job. But....

Our current governor's name is Quinn.
He was Lieutenant Governor when
Blago got caught on tape, and then
Mr. Quinn, of course, stepped in.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

How Insulting

Sarah Palin wants Rahm Emanuel fired for privately calling liberal activists, "f---ing retarded."

He has since apologized.

Perhaps we should no longer read Shakespeare because he let MacBeth say that life is a "tale told by an idiot".

For those who wish to generated Elizabethan insults, see here.

I guess I'm tired
of people getting fired
and almost hung
for slips of the tongue.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Rhyme = True

If it rhymes,
it sounds more true.

The ringing of chimes
beguiles you.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hard = False

The Boston Globe ran a story today titled Easy = True.

The reporter laid out some results from the study of cognitive fluency.
Cognitive fluency is simply a measure of how easy it is to think about something, and it turns out that people prefer things that are easy to think about to those that are hard. On the face of it, it’s a rather intuitive idea. But psychologists are only beginning to uncover the surprising extent to which fluency guides our thinking, and in situations where we have no idea it is at work.
One result, one familiar to me, is that rhyming statements are more likely to be seen as true.
McGlone did a study in which he presented subjects with a series of unfamiliar aphorisms either in rhyming or nonrhyming form: “Woes unite foes,” for example, versus “Woes unite enemies.” He found that people tended to see the rhyming ones as more accurate than the nonrhyming ones, despite the fact that, substantively, the two were identical. Phrases that are easier on the ear aren’t just catchy and easy to remember, McGlone argues, they also feel inherently truer. He calls it “the rhyme-as-reason effect.”
My favorite result comes in the form of an apparent paradox:
Couples asked to come up with a short list of good qualities about each other reported higher levels of marital happiness than the other couples in the study - but so did those couples asked to come up with a long list of each other’s bad qualities.
So when your significant other is mad,
ask her to write out ONE HUNDRED bad
things about you. She'll find it hard work,
and conclude that you're not really such a big jerk.

Over the Edge of Darkness

We saw Edge of Darkness, the new movie starring Mel Gibson. It's a paranoid political thriller, but it's more moody than fast paced, and it's kind of a downer.

Oddly enough, the movie features a Republican U.S. Senator from Massachusetts.

But no one, not even Republicans, will like him.

I have to say the film was well acted,
but as for the ending - well, that's been redacted.

Friday, January 29, 2010

I'm Half An Hour Early

Happy bloggiversary to me.
It's been a six year spree.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Less Than Frozen

Our spending freeze will be nuanced and fair,
not even chilly - just full of hot air.

Vein Drain

Some donate blood,
then fall with a thud -
an outcome much to be dreaded.

Luckily, I'm just lightheaded.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Behind the Stage

The city puts on its prettiest face
for tourists,
polishes up the place
and invites them
to see the sights
the dazzling lights
and the dizzying heights
of downtown.

I love that show,
but I like to go
behind the stage to see
how it works.

One of the perks
of living here
is getting to know
where the warehouses are,
where the railroad yards sprawl,
where the people in grittier jobs
gather away from the snobs,
although, truth to tell,
they can be rather snobby as well,
but, of course,
in reverse.

The empty spaces
also call
to me,
flat wasted fields,
where something big once towered
a factory perhaps,
long ago collapsed
and bulldozed away.

I stand,
random rubble at my feet,
bricks, glass, concrete,
and weeds,
mere temporary residents
soaking up the sun
in this bleak and empty lot,
which in twenty years
may be a happening spot.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Budget Magic

Obama gets tough:
President Barack Obama plans two separate actions to curb salaries and bonuses of the highest- paid executives in the government.
But, wait.

Bonuses? How do they qualify for these bonuses in the first place?

Should the head of the IRS
get extra compensation
for managing to press
more taxes from the nation?

Telephony Phonies

You may remember the fake pimp who got ACORN people to give him some embarrassing advice on secret video.

Well, he and some buddies pulled a new spectacular stunt - in the office of a U.S. Senator. It fell rather flat:
FBI Special Agent Steven Rayes alleges that O'Keefe aided and abetted Joseph Basel and Robert Flanagan, who dressed up as employees of a telephone company and attempted to interfere with the office's telephone system.
Here's the thing. You can enter an ACORN office under false pretenses, and you probably haven't broken the law yet. But, sure enough, you're not allowed to mess with the Feds like that. There's a law for that!

And tapping anybody's phone? There's a law for that too!

Any publicity is good, some people say.
Well, these guys are stars!

That's something to rethink while they're away -
locked behind bars.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Right vs. Left

Did you ever notice that lots of people get confused about right and left, but hardly anyone gets confused about up and down?

Mirrors are permanently confused about right and left. But they never make a mistake about up and down.

And then there's... English.

Forgive me for complaining,
but, the last time I checked,
left also means remaining
and right also means correct.

Where In The World

I did remember that Haiti and the Dominican Republic were on the same island.



But if you had asked me which was which...

At geography, I'm not the best,
and in a quiz, I would have guessed
that Haiti was to the west.

However, given an outline of North Carolina and South Carolina,
I would have done much finah.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Books

My daughter and wife are big on "Great Books".
As for me, I like second-rate books.

Oh, sure I'll break down and read Hume,
but leave me alone in a room
and you'll probably find me gobbling down
authors rather less renowned.

Long Term Parking

For those of you with long memories:

"Happy Guantanamo Closing Day!"

By the way,
there will be a delay.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Shimer Class

My wife is co-teaching a class at Shimer College, here in Chicago. The title of the course is "The Morality of Capitalism". The course description reads:
Capitalism has brought more wealth to more people than any other economic system in history, but it works by appealing to self-interest and greed, and it causes huge disparities in wealth. Is it good or evil? Can we determine its moral status? Readings include writings by Plato, Aristotle, Smith, Marx, Veblen, Weber, Mises, and Rawls.
Class started today, with a discussion of part of Plato's Republic. Shimer is a "great books" college, so the students were already familiar with the Republic.

As for Plato, you may be leery,
or think his ideas are the worst,
but when it comes to theory,
he often covered it first.

Air America Up In Smoke

A dream goes belly up:
Air America, the liberal talk-radio network that helped boost the careers of Al Franken and Rachel Maddow, said Thursday that it was declaring bankruptcy and going off the air.
My theory is that NPR
is much preferred in a liberal car.

The voices sound so even-toned
and all the shows are publicly owned.

Air America Up In Smoke

A dream goes belly up:
Air America, the liberal talk-radio network that helped boost the careers of Al Franken and Rachel Maddow, said Thursday that it was declaring bankruptcy and going off the air.
My theory is that NPR
is much preferred in a liberal car.

The voices sound so even-toned
and all the shows are publicly owned.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Currency

I find a dime on the ground.
It's badly battered,
imperfectly round.
None of that matters to me.

I imagine the coin
is a gift.
Across the rift,
we're joined.

Thank you, I say,
feeling her presence -
hovering, pleasant.

I walk by a pool
where people make wishes,
tossing my ten cents in,
almost sensing her again,
sadly reflecting.

I am a fool in my way,
but the feeling is delicious.

So I go on, coin-collecting,
glimpsing her shining face,
an image that won't erase.

Playing With The "Fourth Wall"

Ayn Rand's play, Night of January the 16th, is known for its jury gimmick.

She was reportedly influenced by another play, The Trial of Mary Dugan, which also had a jury gimmick.

The gimmicks are different, but related.

In Rand's play, the jury is drawn from the audience, and they actually vote to determine the verdict of the play.

In the Trial of Mary Dugan, the audience is addressed AS IF it were the jury. And at the end of the play, an actor planted in the audience pretends to be the jury foreman, and shouts "Not guilty."

There is no wall.
It's space, that's all.

And Now, From Boston Harbor

Brown tea
tastes sweet
to me.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hamlet of the Apes

We gave out keyboards to one million monkeys,
and waited for one Hamlet to be typed.

A million keyboards cost a lot of money
but it was worth it, for the time was ripe
to test the claim which “they” were always saying,
that given infinite time these monkeys would
produce a play that wasn't merely good
but rather great! And so we went on praying,
especially since the simians liked to destroy
the keyboards which they were supposed to employ
in typing out “to be or not” etcetera,
somehow emerging from mere random letters.

After a billion years, they had evolved.
“Come now, chaps, this problem's easily solved,
and we don't see what all the fuss is about.
Give us a copy and we'll type it out!”
We had to agree they sounded rather intelligent.
But we refused. Their solution was inelegant.

We somehow didn't have the heart to tell
them that they'd typed it once, but failed to spell
“Ophelia” correctly, which was quite a sorrow.
But, so what, they always had tomorrow!

They beat us in the end, for they invented
a time machine - they went back and attended
the first production of Hamlet at the Globe,
and even corrected our manuscripts, which drove
some Lit. professors into deep despair.

Replicate our experiment if you dare!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Musing

When the words are out of reach
and you gaze upon her face
in the hope that parts of speech
will somehow chance to capture
the strange angelic grace
which sweeps your brain to rapture...

Then you're dreaming, silly boy -
for words may catch your feeling
but that distillate of joy,
which is bottled in her self
and leaves you simply reeling
isn't on the reference shelf.

Yeats wrote about Maud Gonne,
and we read today and sigh,
for his words go on and on
and we melt within his heart,
but what the girl was like -
why, he barely makes a start!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Game of Pin the Blame

As many of you have heard, the Democratic Party has run into a bit of trouble in that special senatorial election in Massachusetts. The President was there today, giving a speech to a rally that apparently lacked sizzle.
After Obama Rally, Dems Pin Blame On Bush

January 17, 2010 6:16 PM By Felicia Sonmez

As audience members streamed out of Pres. Obama's rally on behalf of AG Martha Coakley (D) here tonight, the consensus was that the fault for Coakley's now-floundering MA SEN bid lies with one person -- George W. Bush.
Take that pin and give it a push
right in the tush
of that dastardly Bush!

It would cause too much mental trauma
to pin it upon Obama.

Sydrome

Here's a funny cartoon, which turns on the idea that bad excuses, like laziness, become good excuses by adding one word: syndrome.

A syndrome is:
a pattern of symptoms indicative of some disease
You don't need to know which disease necessarily. Just some disease, perhaps yet to be discovered.

Just chill.

I'm lazy
'cause I'm ill.

We're hazy
as to exactly why
but cut me slack
or I might try
a full attack
and almost die.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

More Blok

This is another Blok poem, Протекли за годами года, roughly Englished by request, based on the requestor's prose translation:

Year after year flew by.
Blindly I lived in what seemed.
And then today I dreamed
That her love for me was a lie.

I was merely a passer-by,
A passer-by, that's clear.
This childish passion died.
She said: Forgive me, dear.

Though love overflows my soul,
Time with others yields bitter dismay.
That song was a bell that tolled
In a dream that I dreamed today.

The Trial of Mary Dugan and The Night of January 16th

Anne Heller's new biography of Ayn Rand says, without elaboration, that Rand's play, The Night of January 16th, was "largely modeled" on a prior hit play, The Trial of Mary Dugan.

The similarities seem to be that each is an intricately plotted courtroom drama, and each features a scandalous woman accused of murdering a millionaire.

Here's a plot summary of Mary Dugan:
A Follies beauty, Mary Dugan, is on trial for the murder of millionaire Edgar Rice. Her defense seems to be faltering until her young brother, Jimmy, a lawyer just beginning his career, insists he himself replace her present lawyer, Edward West. Mary admits to affairs with several men but wins favor with the jury when she reveals that the money she received was used to provide Jimmy's education. After it is determined that Rice was stabbed to death by a powerful, left‐handed man, Jimmy provides the reason for her initially weak defense. Rice, it seems, was murdered by attorney West, who loved Mrs. Rice, so decided to frame Mary. Time remarked that the play “moves more swiftly than the law with all its ruthless directness. Its plot has the fascinating features of a front‐page murder story.”
Here's a plot summary of January 16th:
Bjorn Faulkner has swindled millions of dollars from investors, by investing cash he didn't have in order to control the gold trade. In the wake of a crash, he is facing bankruptcy despite the injection of money by Mr. John Graham Whitfield, a prominent banker whose daughter, Nancy Lee Faulkner, married Faulkner shortly after the loan. On the night of January 16th, Karen Andre, Bjorn Faulkner's mistress of ten years, and Bjorn are in the penthouse at the top of the Faulkner Building in New York when Faulkner falls to his death. The purpose of the play is to decide if it may have been a suicide - or murder.
Rand's play also features a gimmick where an audience jury decides who is found guilty.

You can see the similarities
and also the disparities.

Sunday - Painting


This is a painting, "Sunday", by Jennifer Cronin. Here's a bigger version.

A young woman is standing in her bathroom painting flowers in the air, and the flowers are coming alive.

She explains:
...with Sunday, I was really interested in moments where the illusion of paintings fall apart and where characters within the painting realize that they are just painted. So, the character in this painting is using the decorative technique of one-stroke flower painting (as seen on PBS) to decorate the surface of the painting that she is in. It also speaks a lot to the roles of women within art history as the hobby artist (or the sunday painter), relegated to what has been considered lower generas of painting, such as flower painting.
And here I thought it was just a magical moment! But I found her point about relegation rang true. The art world is full of secondary competition - not just competition of talent and production, but fierce competition in criticism and gate-keeping.

It ain't
just what you paint
that wins you fame
and acclaim.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Midwinter Thaw

I have a question for you to ponder - you don't need to answer but I am interested if you feel like answering.

A:
Snow shrivels away to a sickly shade of gray, vanishing quickly.
B:
Snow shrivels away
to a sickly shade of gray,
vanishing quickly.
C:
Snow shrivels away
to a sickly
shade of gray,
vanishing quickly.
Everything's the same but the line breaks. Which is best?

Unhappy Returns

The budget chief of the USA has an explanation:
The public is getting a bad return on its tax dollars because government workers are operating with outdated technologies, Orszag said in a statement that kicked off a summit between Obama and dozens of corporate CEOs.
Interesting that he admits we're getting a bad return.

But, in my professional opinion, it's not the technology. You can make very good use of old crummy equipment. And you can muck things up with brand new equipment.

They've got a plan, and it's a beaut.
Sad to say, it won't compute.

Here's a truth that's often told:
garbage never turns to gold.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Tiny Houses

A 9.5 foot wide house sold in Greenwich Village for more than 2 million bucks recently. Edna St. Vincent Millay, the great poet, once lived there.

Chicago has a rather similar house in the heart of downtown. It apparently used to be a stable. It's set back in its own little alley, nestled among some good-sized buildings. You can see it here.

I'm not sure either place
has a lot of closet space

Rescue

Here's an American guy in Haiti, who drove 100 miles to find his wife:
He says he saw his wife's hand from under the rubble and heard her tell him to keep it together and just get her out. He describes it as terrifying.
I'm visualizing this. She's the one buried under the concrete. But he's the one freaking out.

Honey, don't scream and shout -
just dig me out.

Spine

 
Censors? We don't need no stinking censors!

Google gets righteous and stands
up to the rulers' demands.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Steppenwolf by Hesse

We read Steppenwolf for book club.

A man in a midlife crisis
indulges in various vices
and ends with a drugged out trip.
Wow, this book is hip!

Actually, I like the "middle" of the book, which is about the protagonist's relationship with a mysterious woman. It had a romantic edge. He is desperate and suicidal, but she throws him a mocking lifeline, and he agrees to submit to her will.

I cared much less for the angst ridden treatise at the start and the hallucinatory dream at the end.

The lone wolf seeks
spiritual peaks
by secret meditation techniques.

And by hopping in beds
and popping some meds.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I Loved You Once, By Pushkin

I know no Russian, this is just for fun. A Russian speaking friend passed the original to me. See more about the original poem here and here.

I loved you once. My love is not yet dead,
But lingers like a spark within my heart.
Perhaps that truth is better left unsaid.
I wish no tinge of sorrow on your part.

I loved you without words and without hope,
My tongue was tied, my brain insanely jealous,
Sincere and tender, too caught up to cope.
God grant you find another love so zealous!

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Standing With A Sign

I attended an anti-Obamacare protest outside my congressman's office today. Brrr. Stood in the cold for 2 hours.

My sign said, "Hands Off". We had a good time.

Hands off our rights.
We mean to live by our own lights.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Not A Translation

This is just for fun, a very free take-off on a Pushkin poem. But I speak no Russian, and have only looked at 2 English translations to get the vaguest of ideas...

If life has cheated you badly,
Don't be blue and don't turn red.
Though gloom glowers, smile instead.
Face the future, face it gladly.
Let your heart live in next year.
Though the weather's far from sunny,
Soon enough it will be clear
And these troubles will seem funny.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Preferring Gitmo To Illinois

Here's a report that the Gitmo residents do not want to follow the President's plan and move to a "supermax" prison in Illinois.

Why would that be?

Climate might enter into it. But the big thing is "supermax". That's a miserable prison experience. Basically you're locked up in solitary for 23 hours a day, last time I checked.

That much solitary
doesn't make men merry.

Bold Girls

I went to see Bold Girls, tonight. It's an Irish play by Rona Munro, about 4 women. There are no men in the play. Why is that? Because the relevant men have been jailed, or killed, by the Brits.

The play is set in Belfast, during The Troubles, a grim time indeed. The director was joking that the situation was so depressing that Prozac would be handed out at the end of the play.

I liked it a lot. The storyline kept you guessing with secrets, and action, and revelation. The dialog was quite clever, in characteristic Irish ways. And the central character, played by Linda Novak, perceived by others as a long-suffering saint, deftly unfolded her true nature to us.

Jaimey Kennedy and Grace O'Neill
made Nora and Deirdre real,

and Colleen Winters was sexy and sassy
as Cassie.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Even Now, I Almost Believe Him



This video (also here) took me back to the good old days, when promises flowed freely.

Candidate Yes-We-Can
kept saying the health care plan
would be designed on C-Span.

But the deals were cut out of sight,
away from the TV lights 
like something wasn't quite right.

Monday, January 04, 2010

"Might And Ought To Be" Mystery Solved

Ayn Rand repeatedly, in The Romantic Manifesto, misquoted a phrase from Aristotle's Poetics. Chapter 5 opens:
The most important principle of the esthetics of literature was formulated by Aristotle, who said that fiction is of greater philosophical importance than history, because "history represents things as they are, while fiction represents them as they might be and ought to be."
In fact, Aristotle's account left out the "and ought to be". I and others had wondered, for some time, how she had gotten that quotation wrong. Had she read something misleading, or had her memory played a trick on her? Some even suggested she was purposely misquoting.

Jennifer Burns, in her new book on Rand, tracked down the original source of the error:
It appears that Rand drew this concept not from Aristotle, but from Albert Jay Nock. In Memoirs of a Superfluous Man (New York: Harper and Brothers, 1943), 191, Nock writes, ‘History, Aristotle says, represents things only as they are, while fiction represents them as they might be and ought to be.’ In her copy of the book, Rand marked this passage with six vertical lines.
Note that Rand's Aristotle "quotation" actually comes word-for-word from the description Nock gives of Aristotle's position. She merely drops the "only".

So Burns has solved the mystery
of Rand's misquotation
of Aristotle's explanation
of why fiction is deeper than history!

UPDATE: Stephen Boydstun, in the comments, writes: "Robert Mayhew spoke of the Nock source in connection with his paper at the 2005 meeting of the Ayn Rand Society." Which would pre-date Burns, I guess!

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Opening Tomorrow In Dubai

The world's tallest building - by far - opens tomorrow in Dubai:

It was designed by "Chicago architect Adrian Smith and his former colleagues at the Chicago office of Skidmore, Owings & Merrill".



I like the way it looks.

I suspect the elevator ride to the top
will seem to never stop.

It's taller than two Empire State Buildings combined.
which this brings this possibility to mind:

If they ever remake King Kong in Dubai
that poor ape will have to climb twice as high.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Tug of War with a Child

Complicated:
Miller and Jenkins were joined in a Vermont civil union in 2000. Isabella was born to Miller through artificial insemination in 2002. The couple broke up in 2003, and Miller moved to Virginia, renounced homosexuality and became an evangelical Christian.
Jenkins was given visitation rights. Miller refused to cooperate.

Jenkins was then given custody. Miller now seems to have disappeared with the child.

You're not happy that your ex
happens to be same sex?

Tough beans. It's still mean to forbid
visitation with the kid!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

HNY

Another run
around the sun
tonight is done.

We've reckoned it
to the second,
so great is our pleasure
in measurement.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Restarting the Calendar

The Wall St. Journal had a nice article today on alternate calendar schemes.

The chief advantage of these schemes is that a given date always falls on the same day of the week.

The Symmetry 454 calendar achieves this at the cost of having leap years be a whole week longer than a normal year.

The World Calendar achieves this at the cost of having "intercalary days" - 1 or 2 days per year that don't have a weekday name.

As I was reading the article, I was thinking about having to change computer programs en masse.
The "Y2K" reprogramming was "child's play" compared with what is needed for a world-wide calendar switch, admits Dr. Bromberg.
That quote practically writes itself into a rhyme:

Y2K
was child's play
compared to this switch
which would be a real...
high speed drive into a ditch.

My favorite oddball calendar is also mentioned - the International Fixed Calendar, with 13 months of 4 weeks each, plus 1 or 2 of those "intercalary" days.

Of course, switching to a 13 month year would eliminate financial quarters, would play havoc with associating months with the seasons, and would generally cause even more chaotic reprogramming of computers and human brains.

And some mention should be made, finally, of the French Republican Calendar, which was the law in France for a while. It featured 30-day months and 10-day weeks.

They loved the number ten,
they used it again and again,
they even, to my shock,
pushed a 10-hour clock.

Blooms Versus Booms

The would-be crotch bomber reportedly had some big brains behind him - big brains who had done time in Gitmo, but who had been released during the Bush Administration.
American officials agreed to send the two terrorists from Guantanamo to Saudi Arabia, where they entered into an "art therapy rehabilitation program" and were set free, according to U.S. and Saudi officials.
Here's more on the art therapy approach:
The calligraphy and depictions of sunrises and flowers do not really reflect the darker emotions confronted in treatment and are images Western therapists might not expect to see. In fact, some might define the content of their artwork as being "in denial" of the crimes committed.
If you were an art therapist
in charge of curing a terrorist,
how would you proceed?

"Paint a pretty design,
and I'll be sure to sign
the form so you'll be freed."

Monday, December 28, 2009

Offended

Anna North has 4 reasons to quit being "offended".

To quote her headings:
It's overused.

It devalues actual, justified rage.

It encourages self-congratulatory offensiveness.

And, finally: we already have better words.
Whatever this writer intended,
I, for one, am deeply offended.

Elephorse: The Legend

One of my fabulous Christmas presents was this horse, which came with its own removable elephant costume, put together by Anna Weiler. She also explained the legend behind the creation, which I put in verse below.


There were no elephants at the zoo.
The children cried - so what to do?

Quickly a friendly horse was recruited,
and in short order he was re-suited.

Masquerading in trunk and ears,
he clowned away the children's tears.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

What Worked

"The system worked."

That's usually good to hear.
But after a mega-failure, it tends to inspire fear.

That's a quote from Janet Napolitano, head of Homeland Security, and she's talking about the botched attempt to explode a Detroit-bound jet.

People on that plane are lucky the bomb didn't work.

And they were lucky to have Jasper Schuringa seated near the bomber. Schuringa jumped on the bomber, took the burning IED away, put the fire out with his own hands, put a choke hold on the bomber, and dragged him out of his seat.

"I don't feel like a hero. It was something that came completely natural... it was something where I had to do something or it was too late."

That's the part of the system that worked -
the part where Schuringa went berserk.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Mars, Venus, Goodbye

New book:

Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid
-
the latest attempt to help poor Cupid!

It's by a couple who are also comedy writers.

Sometimes humor does more good
than years of counseling ever could.

Moving Beyond Mars And Venus

The latest book to try to help along Cupid:
Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid.

It's a comic effort, written by a couple comedy writers who are also boyfriend and girlfriend.

The title isn't literally true, of course, and it propagates dangerous stereotypes... Oops, I fell asleep just saying that.

Misunderstanding between the sexes
is one of those things that endlessly vexes
male and female alike.

And this book does look funnier than a volume on evolutionary psych.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Gift of the Magi

Our family's joke phrase of the past 2 days is: "You ruined Christmas!"

I've been thinking about O. Henry's short story, The Gift of the Magi. It's about a young couple. They both sell their most prized possession - in order to buy something to accessorize the other person's prize possession.

They're both left with accessories only.
On the bright side, at least they're not lonely.

Somehow, it doesn't ruin their Christmas. But they realize they have not been wise.

Be wary of the price
of spectacular sacrifice.

Christmas Duck

Donald Duck may not be a big part of your holiday celebrations. But in Sweden, this is his time to shine:
Every year on Dec. 24 at 3 p.m., half of Sweden sits down in front of the television for a family viewing of the 1958 Walt Disney Presents Christmas special, "From All of Us to All of You." Or as it is known in Sverige, Kalle Anka och hans vänner önskar God Jul: "Donald Duck and his friends wish you a Merry Christmas."
At first, the viewers came back
of their own volition
to watch that duck go quack.

But now it's a tradition!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wild Doings

The Chicago Tribune has the story:

A guy gets kidnapped by a car full of armed young people.

They drive him to an ATM. One takes the guy's ATM card and demands his PIN.
They pulled into an alley. As they bumped along the snowy path, the woman told the driver to toss her the gun because she didn't want police to see it, he said.

"All of a sudden, by the grace of God, between these two fools, I hear 'boom,' and then I hear her hollering and screaming, 'I shot my finger off, I shot it off.' The driver starts panicking and he goes right into a Dumpster," the victim said. "That's when I knew it was my moment."
In the confusion, the victim got hold of the gun, got out of the car, and started running away - down the alley. The woman ran after him.
"I don't know if she's going to kill me or not, so I fire a warning shot," the man said. "Unfortunately, it hit her. I never fired a gun in my life."
She's dead from his "warning shot."

Don't ask anyone
to toss you a loaded gun.

And remember, you may be harmed
when you chase a guy who's armed.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Waiting for Gitmo

They were coming to Illinois but there's been a delay -
the president can't get the money to move the prisoners away
from Guantánamo Bay.
As a result, officials now believe that they are unlikely to close the prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, and transfer its population of terrorism suspects until 2011 at the earliest...
I was so looking forward to Gitmo coming to my home state.
Too bad it's gonna be late!

I figured it would be a tourist attraction.
Seeing where they were all locked up would give folks satisfaction.

Nude with Violin

I've been reading Nude with Violin, a play by Noel Coward. It put me in mind of Art, a play by Yasmina Reza. Both plays ask whether modern art might be a fraud.

Reza's play is about a guy who buys a big all-white painting, and then shows it to his 2 buddies.
They in turn question their relationship with a man willing to spend such a large amount of money on something that they find hard pressed to consider 'art.'
Coward's play is about a critically acclaimed painter who has signed his works, but who has not painted his works. Rather, he has secretly had 4 untrained people paint for him, each responsible for one of his "periods".

Reza is content to raise the question, but Coward seems to have a definite suggestion in mind. His main character argues sardonically against exposing the fraud. In his final monologue he warns that a skeptical domino effect might ensue:
Modern sculpture, music, drama and poetry will all shrivel in the holocaust. Think what will happen to those tens of thousands of industrious people who today are making a comfortable livelihood by writing without grammar, composing without harmony and painting without form. These poor miserable wretches will be either flung into abject poverty or forced really to learn their jobs.
This isn't Coward the dandy,
writing of escapades randy.

This is Coward the curmudgeon,
swinging an angry bludgeon.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Nebraska Compromise Reconsidered

Federalism raises its sleepy head:
The top prosecutors in seven states are probing the constitutionality of a political deal that cut a funding break for Nebraska in order to pass a federal health care reform bill, South Carolina's attorney general said Tuesday.
The states investigate a congressional deal? What nerve. On the other hand, the deal is unique:
"The Nebraska compromise, which permanently exempts Nebraska from paying Medicaid costs that Texas and all other 49 states must pay, may violate the United States Constitution — as well as other provisions of federal law," Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott said.
Nebraska's senator was plucky -
held out for the very best deal.

His state sure is lucky.
How rude of the others to squeal!

Cash for Congress

One small chunk of the economy is booming - the lobbying biz!
Washington’s influence industry is on track to shatter last year’s record $3.3 billion spent to lobby Congress and the rest of the federal government...
The expansion of government control - and we've been seeing a lot of that - is a platinum mine for lobbyists.

When everything's up in the air,
and the Congress is on the prowl,
interfering in business affairs -
then businessmen do not howl,
or sit around and moan,
or distract themselves with a hobby,
instead they pick up the phone
and pay people cash to lobby!

Lightbulb Day

Debra Ross explains:
I saw the name "Lightbulb Day" somewhere on the internet as a way someone had devised of celebrating the holidays without religion, and I adopted and made it our own. (After all, isn't that the way most inventions evolve?) On December 21, the "darkest evening of the year," the day when we symbolically most need technology, our two families celebrated human ingenuity, creativity, reason, and invention.
The day's name put me in mind of Thomas Edison, who invented the first practically usable lightbulb, and who said:
Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Even Edison couldn't simply say "let there be light."
He had to work and sweat to make it right.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Frown Of Thought

Aristotle thought everyone had happiness as a goal. But is it bad for your cognition to actually arrive at the goal?
The University of New South Wales researcher says a grumpy person can cope with more demanding situations than a happy one because of the way the brain "promotes information processing strategies".
However, the researcher does concede that happiness is better for creativity.

Maybe the ideal thing
is to let your mood swing.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Levamisole Goes Better With Coke

Disturbing news, at least for some:
Cocaine's a hell of a drug, and even more so when laced with another drug that's commonly used to deworm opossums. Federal agents have found that 69 percent of cocaine shipments seized entering the United States contain levamisole, a veterinary drug linked to serious weakening of the immune system in humans. Here's the real funny part: no one knows why.
Deworming possums? Around here they're considered a nuisance, and a wild animal, and I don't think you can keep them as pets in Illinois. So who is catching them to deworm them?

The "weakening of the immune system in humans" doesn't sound so good.

Your immune system goes from a roar to a sigh,
but you sure get high,
and your worms go bye-bye.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Nonbelievers Horning In

Garrison Keillor is unhappy with Christmas songs written by Jewish guys:
And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write ‘Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we’ll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah’? No, we didn’t. Christmas is a Christian holiday—if you’re not in the club, then buzz off.
He's specifically attacks the Rudolph song and the Chestnuts song, which were indeed written by Jewish guys.

As a matter of fact, the Jewish guy who wrote the Rudolph song also wrote "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day", "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", and "A Holly Jolly Christmas".

Keillor didn't get around to complaining about "White Christmas" by Irving Berlin, another Jewish guy.

He didn't complain about all the Jewish singers, like Barbra Streisand, who release Christmas albums that include Gounod's "Ave Maria".

He didn't even note that Jews must have been the main celebrants at the actual birth of Jesus.

I don't believe, but I like these tunes,
including Streisand's Hail Mary.
Keillor can be a hot air balloon,
but I find his drift slightly scary.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Pregnancy Leave Behind Bars

An army general is banning pregnancy in Iraq.
Anyone who becomes pregnant or impregnates another servicemember, including married couples assigned to the same unit, could face a court-martial and jail time, according to an order issued by Maj. Gen. Anthony Cucolo.
I can see that pregnant soldiers may be less effective soldiers. But contraception, while highly effective, is not 100% effective.

Who conceived of this ban?
Will babies be born in jail?

Is it a well laid plan
or more of an epic fail?

Blinded By Her Headlights

Traffic hazard:
A New Zealand teen who was flashing her breasts at passing cars has been found guilty of disorderly behavior for the prank, which ended with her in a hospital after a distracted driver ran into her.
Beware of flashing,
it causes crashing.

Jobless Claims Jump

I don't want to make too much of it, but it can't be a good thing:
The number of Americans filing for initial unemployment insurance rose last week, the government said Thursday. Analysts had expected a decline.
I'm sad about the rise,
I'm hoping for a boom,
but I'm not exactly surprised
to find we're still in the gloom.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Big Donor

Kirk Maxey, back in the day, donated a lot of highly fertile sperm:
Between 1980 and 1994, he donated at a Michigan clinic twice a week. He's looked at the records of his donations, multiplied by the number of individual vials each donation produced, and estimated the success of each vial resulting in a pregnancy. By his own calculations, he concluded that he is the biological father of nearly 400 children, spread across the state and possibly the country.
Sociobiology proposes that men are motivated by a desire to have as many children as possible - at as little cost as possible. In this case, he actually got paid for his contributions.

If sociobiology were true
wouldn't more men do
what Maxey did
to make maximum kids?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Way with Words

Did Obama pick a good metaphor for his health care efforts?
We are on the precipice of an achievement that has eluded Congresses and presidents for generations.
Being on a precipice
of a legislative abyss
sounds more scary
than merry.

How Utilitarian

They say that the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the one.

Proof? I haven't heard any.
Nor does it sound like fun.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Oblivious to the Obvious

At Harvard they ran a psychology experiment where only 25% percent of the subjects noticed that the person they were dealing with was switched with another, similar but different, person.

Video, brief and funny, is here.

I fear that if I took this test
I'd fail like most of the rest.

Clever Invertebrates

They've found some octopuses that carry coconut shells around - and then hide under the shell.

Video here.

It's analogous, as the first commenter mentions, to a hermit crab, a crustacean which lives inside of another animal's salvaged shell.

A cephalopod
with a coconut shell...
how very odd,
but how cool as well.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Snowman



He stands on patrol
in a world of white.
His eyes, black as coal,
stare down the night.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ungovernable People

Why is the progressive program stalling in the States? One prominent progressive has an answer:
The smarter elements in Washington DC are starting to pick up on the fact that it’s not tactical errors on the part of the president that make it hard to get things done, it’s the fact that the country has become ungovernable.
I wonder if that hasn't always been the problem. In a deeper way than this writer imagines.

I am put in mind of Huck Finn who insists he doesn't want to be "sivilized". Which means he doesn't want people telling him what to do - regulating his life.

There's a reason why that book has remained so popular.

The frontier?
Still here.

Inside
it abides.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tom and Huck

We were discussing Huckleberry Finn in book club, and I read Tom Sawyer for good measure.
Both brought back memories of boyhood reading pleasure.

I read them when I was in elementary school. On my own.

I thought the stuff with slaves was ancient and outrageous. But the idea of just heading into a river on a raft - escaping from teachers and rules and lectures - that sounded like wonderful fun.

How joyous to float wherever you wish,
living off melon and freshly caught fish.

Obama in Norway

He dropped in for his Nobel,
and said that war is hell,
but sometimes needed, as well.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

You Can't Even Call For Help

Not again! Not another boy with his tongue stuck to a frozen metal pole! Why is it rarely a girl?
This year, the scene straight out of the movie "A Christmas Story" unfolded Tuesday morning in Boise with a boy of about 10.
The fire department got him free by pouring water on his tongue.
He only bled a little. Ouch, I bet that stung.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Cosmetic Budget Surgery

Apparently the Senate Health bill, instead of saving us all money, needs an infusion of cash:
Last week, the U.S. Senate began debate on an $848 billion health-care reform bill that includes a 5 percent excise tax on elective cosmetic surgery. It would take effect Jan. 1.

The aim: to raise an estimated $5.8 billion in the next decade.
Since their health plan's running short on bucks,
the Senate turns to taxing tummy tucks.

Cold on the Radio

Jeremy Menekseoglu's holiday play, Cold, was performed live on the radio today.

Now it's available for listening online.


It's about 2 lonely troubled people falling in love. He's a philosophy major who collects signatures on the street. She's a college drop-out office temp. They have opposite but related problems - 2 versions of extreme loneliness - he's a virtual hermit and she's a sex addict.

In the midst of freezing weather
what can they find together?

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Despicable

A guy in New Zealand with HIV used a needle to inject his wife with his blood, and infected her, while she was sleeping.
It is believed the man wanted to give her the virus, which leads to Aids, so she would have sex with him again, the New Zealand Sunday Star-Times reported.
He confessed and faces a possible sentence of 14 years.

What kind of a snake
wrecks the life
of his wife
just to make
her have sex?

Huck on Altruism

Huckleberry Finn reflects on his religious training:
...she told me what she meant--I must help other people, and do everything I could for other people, and look out for them all the time, and never think about myself.... I went out in the woods and turned it over in my mind a long time, but I couldn't see no advantage about it--except for the other people; so at last I reckoned I wouldn't worry about it any more, but just let it go.
Out in the woods
he ponders her shoulds
but they don't seem so good
to him.

And the justification seems slim.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Helvetica

Watched Helvetica, a fun film about a font.

Actually, it's not really a font, it's a typeface. Wikipedia explains:
a typeface is a set of one or more fonts, in one or more sizes, designed with stylistic unity, each comprising a coordinated set of glyphs.
I would write a nice riff
about what is a glyph
but I don't know,
so I'll go.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

With Apologies To William Blake

Tiger, Tiger, driving madly,
down your driveway, crashing badly,
what recorded cell phone call
has framed you on the tabloid wall?

Cold is Warm Inside

Cold is back! At Dream Theatre.

It's a play about a former philosophy major who hasn't been to a party in forever. It's a play about a party girl who just keeps looking for love in all the wrong places.

Jeremy Menekseoglu is serious and convincing as the reclusive misanthrope with a philosophy of fear. Courtney Arnett is effervescent and seductive as the office-temp who feels unworthy of respect.

Fear and self-contempt
can make you verklemt.

But it's a heartwarming love story, not a tragedy.

Two people, at heart the same,
fan the eternal flame.

A Helping Hand

W.C. Varones alerted me to this:
There's talk of Federal Government bailouts of newspapers, changing their tax status, changing copyright laws, granting them non-profit status, etc. All to keep them afloat, and keep them pumping the Government's pure filth-ridden lies to the public.
Just because they would own the press,
doesn't mean they'd apply duress
to make reporters "toe the line."

Don't worry. All will be fine!

Party Crasher Craze Becomes Constitutional Crisis

If only the architects of the U.S. constitution were still around:
The White House on Wednesday invoked the separation of powers to keep Desiree Rogers, President Obama’s social secretary, from testifying on Capitol Hill about how a couple of aspiring reality television show celebrities crashed a state dinner for the prime minister of India last week.
How did they crash
the White House bash?

The Congress wants to know,
but the President says "Whoa!"

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Team America, World Bank

I think that we need to bail out Dubai.
"Too big to fail" is the reason why.

They're running slightly low on cash,
but we can print some in a flash!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

77 Love Sonnets

I read through 77 Love Sonnets by Garrison Keillor, a recent book which actually contains 81 of his 14-line creations.

Did he settle on the title, announce it, and then feel compelled to sneak in 4 more?

Not all, in fact, are love poems, but a solid chunk are, with a good dose of eros included. You can read 3 of them over here, along with a nice review. The last of the 3 will give you a feel for the way he deals with bodily passion.

He has a great gift for writing rhyme and meter in a conversational style, so it seems like you're reading normal sentences that happen to come out in verse by some strange coincidence. He's also an accomplished storyteller, and each of these poems is structured with a beginning, middle, and end. You're not left wondering what a poem means - even though you might be left wondering what his personal life is really like!

This book is an example of an interesting genre - formal verse that gets published because the writer is famous for something else. You won't find the poetry establishment lining up to praise this book. He's not pursuing the goals that interest them.

Will he sell more books than an academic poet?
You know it!