Mandible Strike Speed Record

Researchers using high-speed cameras have found that:

The Panamanian termite's chomp-down is the fastest "mandible strike" recorded. The termites have to employ such a speedy strike to defend themselves, because their small size makes it harder to generate enough force to inflict damage on a foe.

But be careful about inviting them to your house for a demonstration.

Would they like a bite of wood?
Yes. They say the flavor's good!

Would they like a little more?
Oops, there goes your bedroom floor!

Arrested In New York

Ponzi schemes are a form of financial fraud
and are therefore outlawed.

But here's a guy who blew about 50 billion.
Now he's embarrassed - his face has turned vermillion.

Pareidolia

In the winter, in my basement,
there is whistling - vague and ghostly.

It drifts into my daydreams,
but when I listen closely
the tune dissolves like water
and wanders off morosely.

It's partly the brain seeking order.
But I blame the steam heat, mostly.

Blagojevich Who?

Boy, a lot of his old friends seem to have forgotten his name, as of today. Even though it's a hard name to forget!

Oh, I remember him, I mean
I really don't, nor have I seen
him - since the early Pleioscene.

Really, truly, my hands are clean!

The Schopenhauer Cure

At book club we discussed The Schopenhauer Cure, by Irvin Yalom, a well-known psychiatrist.

It's a tale of group therapy, alternating with a psycho-biography of the eccentric Schopenhauer. So it's part fiction, part history.

He's mixed two books into one!
But I'd rather that had been left undone.

The group therapy part includes a character who has been cured of sex addiction by his reading of Schopenhauer. But in place of his sex addiction he has acquired manners that are truly bizarre. Can group therapy shatter the hard shell he has created around his vulnerable self?

Yalom is the author of a textbook on group therapy, so I guess he should know how it works, but it didn't quite come alive for me, I guess because it sounded a little too pat - no one ever seemed to be struggling enough to admit to their deep inner secrets.

I know it's his dominion.
But that's my dour opinion.

Shakedown

"Selling a Senate seat is one thing... But extorting sick children is low even by Illinois code"

I think that's right. Political offices are often the subject of wheeling and dealing. But our gov is also accused of extorting support from an executive at Children's Memorial Hospital, which is one of our flagship pediatric hospitals.

"So, Mr. Blagojevich, are you telling this court that those children who have cancer, who have disfiguring diseases, who have faced tremendous trauma, are you telling us you would withhold needed funds from them so that you could enrich your campaign and yourself?"

The real solution is to get the state out of medicine. Hospital executives shouldn't have to go to hat-in-hand to government officials. That just invites corruption.

Why should anyone's health
be hostage to an official's wealth?

On His Own Recognizance

Anyway, Gov. Rod B. posted bond, and he's sleeping in his own bed tonight. He's still governor, and he can still appoint the Obama-replacement senator. He can even appoint himself to that position. He's innocent till proven guilty!

I hope he appoints himself to the Senate
and goes to live in DC.

The Senate will suffer from having him in it,
but at least he'll be farther from me.

Bad Day For Blagojevich

The Feds showed up outside our governor's house today, then drove him away in handcuffs.

They've got him on tape saying a lot of crude illegal-sounding stuff. He even describes our president-elect with a long word that starts with mother. 

(PDF with Mamet-like quotes, here.)

Don't call the president names. That can only harden
the heart of the man you'll be begging for a pardon.

No Need To Stock Up

Obama says there is no need to stock up on guns.

"I believe in common-sense gun safety laws, and I believe in the second amendment," Obama said at a news conference. "Lawful gun owners have nothing to fear."

The ironic thing here is that the gun business is booming because of Obama. Why would he want to slow down the one part of the economy that is going great guns?

"Lawful gun owners have nothing to fear."

Interesting quote. The problem is that an owner could be lawful one day and criminal the next - if the law changed. That's what people are worried about.

Ah, the poor second amendment, so neglected.  Imagine if Obama had said:

"I believe in common-sense religious safety laws, and I believe in the first amendment. Lawful religions have nothing to fear."

Arrest those folks who play with the poisonous snakes.
They're just a bunch of law-breaking flakes.

Sad Situation

Here in Chicago, workers of a failed company are occupying its plant, demanding severance pay and vacation time.

The company was in trouble, lost its financing from Bank of America, and closed its doors on short notice.

Barack Obama, Jesse Jackson, the governor of Illinois, and our remaining U.S. senator have all voiced their support for these workers. 

Our governor is demanding that Bank of America reopen its tax-dollar suffused credit line for the company. But... it's a window and door company. And construction in the U.S. has hit the brakes, with no green light in sight. Does this place sound like a good loan prospect?

Rep. Luis Gutierrez, who also has been making appearances at the sit-in, said the workers under federal law are entitled to 60 days' pay in the event of a shutdown.

Of course, that 60 days of pay is supposed to come from the company. But if the company doesn't have any money...

I see a flaw
in that law -
when a company's truly in hock,
you can't squeeze blood from a rock.

Where There's Smoke

Tom Brokaw is on the case:

U.S. President-elect Barack Obama failed to give a straight answer when asked on a U.S. talkshow on Sunday whether he had managed to quit smoking.

Of course he's quit. More than once.
Ask a tough question and he... punts.

Election Over, Ayers Emerges

Bill Ayers tries, once again, to explain his past deeds in a favorable light:

Peaceful protests had failed to stop the war. So we issued a screaming response.

Actually, "screaming" is part of the "peaceful protest" repertoire.  What he issued was an explosive response.

According to his account,
all his bombings amount
to a very loud scream
on an anti-war theme.

Forget that "terrorist" handle!
Let's try: extreme vandal.

Making An Entrance

Friday at rehearsal the director says: there's something wrong with Father's big entrance scene.

I'm playing Father and I had been thinking there was something wrong. I'd been thinking my daughters weren't greeting me with enough excitement. (It's "Little Women.")

Then it occurred to me - DUH - that maybe it was my own fault. It was my entrance. I had most of the actual lines. Maybe MY excitement level was low. So we replayed the scene, and I was more energetic, and the director was happy.

Afterwards I asked myself WHY I had made such a mistake, and I realized I had fallen into the SICK trap.  My character is sick. And I have to convey that. But the temptation is to play sick by projecting less dramatic presence. Wrong!

Dramas low on excitement
deserve a bill of indictment.

OJ Sentenced

Do you get overconfident when you are found not guilty of a big crime - even though you left blood evidence behind?

DNA
you might argue away.

- The science is hard to follow.
 

But it's hard to escape
when you're caught on tape.

- All your denials ring hollow.

Mother Russia

The Russians aren't reproducing much. You may find that comforting. But the Kremlin finds it troubling. So they have organized a youth movement:

Nashi's annual camp, 200 miles outside Moscow, is attended by 10,000 uniformed youngsters and involves two weeks of lectures and physical fitness.

Attendance is monitored via compulsory electronic badges and anyone who misses three events is expelled. So are drinkers; alcohol is banned. But sex is encouraged, and condoms are nowhere on sale.

If you're a loyal Russian,
you don't need much discussion.

For the good of the state:
hurry up and procreate!

Choo Choo Through Chicago

Today emilya  arrived in Chicago via train from L.A.  She had a layover of several hours before she had to get on another train to continue her trip to NYC. So we got together with her!

Such a trip entails
3 days riding the rails.

What a massive pain.
I'm glad they invented the plane.

Seemingly Endless Swirl

Charlie Rangel is getting a lot of attention lately:

The Democratic chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee has been at the center of a seemingly endless swirl of questions about his activities. He came under fire this week after The New York Times reported that Rangel worked to protect a tax shelter for Nabors Industries, an oil company whose chief executive was pledging $1 million to a school bearing the congressman's name.

Rangel seems to be tangled in personal deals where he wangled options which were financially salubrious but ethically dubious.

But let's put his name on a school
where they teach how to work around rules

Leasing the Meters

The City of Chicago has now agreed to a long term lease of its parking meters.

The deal with Chicago Parking Meter LLC, an infrastructure investment fund managed by Morgan Stanley, marks the first time a U.S. city has privatized its parking meter system. It adds to the list of infrastructure assets Chicago has cashed in on with leases of an airport, a toll road, and some downtown parking lots.

Mayor Richard M. Daley has been a leader at this variety of privatization.

I do wonder what will happen to the handicapped scam on downtown streets. Normally, if you have an official blue handicapped placard, you can park for free at meters. That's not the scam. The scam is when you have your handicapped mother's placard, but you're the only one in the car.

I've seen people park for free
who looked able-bodied to me.

Mumbai

Anurag Wahdera has three posts on the Mumbai attacks:

Mumbai Mayhem - The Heroics

For me, nowhere is the future of Indian capitalism, warts-and-all, as evident as in Mumbai. And for that reason, it must be defended from the medieval mindset and handiwork of the terrorists.

Mumbai Mayhem - The Inept

Here is cause enough for all Indians to hang their heads in regrettable shame or raise their voice in justifiable anger.

Mumbai Mayhem - The Tragic

Sadly, it was the calculus of the terrorists - to hit the foreigners and the rich at prominent, symbolic places - which assured that many of us in the Bay Area were touched by the tragedy.

Meanwhile, no posts from Ergo Sum since the attacks. He was in Mumbai, last I heard. I'm hoping he's all right. It's a huge city. Odds are he is. But, still...

To my Indian friends,
I can only extend
my sympathy, and the desire
to fight back
and return fire
against these senseless attacks.

Drat, the Lat!

In Latvia, the unit of currency is called the lat. 

If you live there,
you'd better beware,
of saying the lat is ker-splat.

You really don't want to that:

Hammered by economic woe, this former Soviet republic recently took a novel step to contain the crisis. Its counterespionage agency busted an economist for being too downbeat.

The spies keep their eyes 
on all who despise 
the so-meritorious
surely victorious
sheer flat-out glorious
lat!