"People in snowier states appear to sleep for a little longer during winter months than those in sunnier states, according to a recent analysis of data from a popular sleep tracking app."
The news is: snowy states cause longer slumbers.
It's scientific, measured with an app,
With lots of quite impressive sounding numbers,
And best of all, a multicolored map!
I cannot say that this result is shocking.
If you have ever burrowed in your bed,
Because the Brrr is something you are blocking,
You know you faced the dawning day with dread.
Who wants to wake up just to see the dark?
Who jumps up eager just to feel a chill?
Who wants to go out jogging in the park?
Around this time of year I've had my fill!
In my next life, I plan to be a bear
And snore for three whole months inside my lair.