Duet:
He: My darling, my dear, I have things to confess.
She: My darling, your language is causing me stress.
He: Promise me, sweetie, that you won’t be mad.
She: You must tell me first what you did that was bad.
He: I told you a fib. Just a little white lie.
She: Was this about Charmin? I THINK YOU SHOULD DIE!
He: Calm down, please, calm down - that’s a little extreme.
She: Calm down? When you say that - I just want to scream!
He: I did not go shopping. My heart just turned chicken.
She: I stare at your face and I feel my heart sicken.
He: How can I ever win back your affection?
She: By showing true grit in this time of infection!
He: How can I show it? Is that even feasible?
She: Just bring me a roll of the stuff that is squeezable!
That’s all I can say, and I won’t say no more.
He: All right! I will do it! I’m off to the store!
She exits.
He: Oh no. I am doomed. I am chilled to my core.
But though I die trying, I’m off to the store!
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