Back in 2010 there was an article in a respectable psychology journal - an article claiming to have found evidence of better-than-random ability to predict the future.
And now, the predictable as happened - other scientists were unable to reproduce the original spooky result.
Of course, they didn't test me. I have such powers. But I refuse to use them.
You see, I love surprises!
So my ghostly clairvoyance
is mostly an annoyance.
UPDATE: Oops. Maybe I don't have clairvoyance after all...
I ran my experiments drunk.
They may have lacked precision.
I thought I had second sight.
In fact it was double vision.