The More Things Change

I've been reading Sontag on photography. I've been reading Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey at the same time.

I found a point of overlap.

Sontag makes much of the idea that photography teaches us a new way to see.

Austen, more humorously, makes the same point - about drawing:

They were viewing the country with the eyes of persons accustomed to drawing, and decided on its capability of being formed into pictures, with all the eagerness of real taste. Here Catherine was quite lost. She knew nothing of drawing -- nothing of taste: -- and she listened to them with an attention which brought her little profit, for they talked in phrases which conveyed scarcely any idea to her. The little which she could understand, however, appeared to contradict the very few notions she had entertained on the matter before. It seemed as if a good view were no longer to be taken from the top of an high hill, and that a clear blue sky was no longer a proof of a fine day.

Often enough,
A truth of note
Can be backed up
With an Austen quote.

Tax Quandary

In the future, when there's a market for body parts, what will the tax consequences be?

Say you sell your kidney for 200 big ones. Is that 200,000 of income? What about the loss - namely your kidney? Maybe it's just a wash for tax purposes?

There's one sort-of-comparable situation right now, but I don't know the answer to this question:

When women get paid for donating eggs,
Does the IRS take an arm and a leg?

I May Regret This Yet

There's an Ironman-distance race in Illinois this September. About 3 hours from my house.

I just signed up.

There is fear in my gut.

I've only done one of these before.

I was limping when I was done.

I finished in a state
Of hurt.
I hope, this time, to skirt
That fate.

Competitive Rankings

This Sun Times story implies that my home state has a problem with political corruption:

Larry J. Sabato, a professor at the University of Virginia, is a kind of all-purpose political commentator. He told me, "The unholy trinity of politically corrupt states are New Jersey, Illinois and Louisiana."

I asked former Gov. Jim Thompson what he thought about Sabato's Top Three. "Illinois can't hold a candle to New Jersey and Louisiana," he said indignantly. "We're poor country cousins compared to those states."

However as this other Sun Times story reveals, we truly NUMBER ONE in another category of calamity:

In Chicago, mail delivery has gotten so bad that in-town, overnight delivery ranks the worst in the nation, according to Chicago postmaster Gloria E. Tyson.

You know what this means.

When you need to get a bribe
To a leader of the tribe
And you can't afford to fail,
Don't ever use the mail.

So Much Light

There is a giant fusion reaction visible outside in the sky. It's literally blinding to look at. It's giving off so much electromagnetic radiation that it's rapidly raising the ambient temperature.

The sun is in the sky today.
It's almost like Spring is on it's way.

Reconstruction

Reuters says:

"In-vitro fertilization (IVF) is apt to be more successful in white women than in Asian women, a study suggests."

Well, that's mysterious. Because according to Wikipedia:

"Most biological and social scientists regard the concept of race primarily as a social construct..."

Why didn't anyone explain this to the women?

Wikipedia, goes on to say that scientists "prefer to conceptualize and analyze human genotypic and phenotypic variation in terms of populations and clines instead."

Ah, that clear things up.

I'm not so in love with the concept of race
But throw it away and you soon see the face
Of something much like it, taking its place.

Sontag on Photography

I'm reading Susan Sontag's On Photography for book club.

So far, she's not too happy with photography. The camera aggressively "appropriates" an image, and metaphorically "rapes" its subject. How's that for a Marxist / Freudian critique of picture-taking?

She seems at pains to fight off a certain idea, namely that a picture is worth a thousand words. You can see where that relative valuation might not appeal to a writer.

She keeps emphasizing that ethics and politics, in words, are irreplaceable by photos. That's true. But her ethics and politics keep sounding like radical chic to me.

Oddly enough, there were always a lot of striking photographs of her floating around.

For someone who thought it was not so hot.
She sure got "shot" a lot.

Quirk of the Day

I don't really like it when poetry that rhymes and scans is called formal.
That sounds like being stuck at a stuffy party. But to me it's just normal.

Hillary's Accent

I've been listening to Hillary Clinton lately. Mostly to hear her accent. I'm not talking about her church performance with a strange version of Southern. Just her regular speech.

She's from the Chicago area. I can hear it. But there's other stuff mixed in too. That figures, since she also went to Wellesley, went to Yale, was the first lady of Arkansas, and is now the junior senator from New York.

She has lived around the nation,
But those flat Midwestern vowels
Refuse to throw in the towel.
To me they sound great, and I howl
In admiration

Lack of Trust

A little mistake was made at the Mint
On those new dollar coins with the yellowish tint.

A few of them came out a little bit odd -
They don't say a thing about trusting in God.

Redeemer from Puerto Rico

purpurachicago told me to watch tonight's ABC PrimeTime story about a Puerto Rican cult leader.

This guy claims to be the second coming of Jesus.

He also claims to be the Antichrist.

Such a dialectical approach!

Jesus plus the Antichrist?
No matter how that's sliced and diced,
It's logic that gets sacrificed.

Old Time Religion

I've heard it argued that voting Democratic is smart and ethical because the real danger to the country is from Religious Republicans.

What did our Democratic governor do yesterday? He went to church, declared "We are all God's children," and said he was following a "moral imperative" in announcing his new forced health insurance program.

Both parties hit religious notes
When calling for our votes.

Not A Lot Like Love

Marsha and I were watching A Lot Like Love last night. As the story starts up, Amanda Peet follows Ashton Kutcher into an airline lavatory for a mile high hookup.

Eventually, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

Something similar happened recently with Ralph Fiennes and a Qantas flight attendant.

Sadly, there's little chance of a fairy tale ending. After their exploit became public knowledge, there were allegations floating that Mr. Fiennes had forced himself upon the flight attendant. Then the woman got fired.

This morning I learned from W.C. Varones that Fiennes is feeling victimized as well.

His PR person declares "This woman seduced him on a plane. She was the sexual aggressor."

Such are the risks of being a movie star.
Watch out for aggressors, no matter where you are.
They'll follow you into the loo
And do the nasty with you,
And spread your name in the papers near and far.

Reeding the News

Do you think the federal government can manage health care? Look at the job they've done with the Veterans Administration hospital system.

If I live to see
The federal government take over this giant slice of the economy,
I hope to hell
I'm always well.

Music and Lyrics

Saw Music and Lyrics with Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant.

It's a romantic comedy, but it's very concerned with word-endings, a bit like Eminem's 8 Mile.

A Yank and a Limey
Get lovey and rhymey.

Lucky No Windows Were Broken

This is across the street from me.
Mr. Wind, meet Mr. Tree.

Grumbling Over Statistical Stumbling

From Glenn Reynolds, here's a fascinating Economist story about statistical bumbling in medical studies. It's provocactively subtitled "Why so much medical research is rot."

He's talking about those studies where they hunt through medical databases, searching for correlations between conditions. Apparently the researchers have trouble with rules of statistical inference when testing multiple hypotheses.

Hey, I would have trouble too. Probability and statistics can be counter-intuitive. It helps to have a real guru handy.

Could this explain why medical recommendations about what to eat keep changing so much?

When searching for natural laws
Beware of correlation without cause.

Global Warming - Not Just For Earth Anymore

Global warming on Mars? Apparently so.

A Russian astronomer, Habibullo Abdussamatov, blames fluctuations in solar radiation. He thinks that's why Earth got warmer, too.

Other scientists dismiss his views. They say Earth and Mars are warming up for separate reasons.

They say that warming here is due
To human production of CO2.

On Mars, they say the rotational fact is
That warming is due to a wobbly axis.

Perhaps this theory is the cleanest,
But I'd like to see some stats for Venus.

Great First Sentence

"A dominatrix was arrested on prostitution charges at a suburban estate that she leased from the rabbinical school next door..."


Perhaps they should have asked whether
It was wise to rent the place
To someone wearing black leather
Everywhere but her face.

Leviathan on the Right

Went to hear Michael Tanner talk about his new book: Leviathan on the Right which is about the spread of "big government conservatism."

It's a sobering topic, but he was an entertaining speaker - and there was free beer and pizza! Thank you, Cato and Heartland Institutes!

He distinguished 5 types of big government conservatives:

1) neocons, former Marxists who still think the welfare state is great
2) "national greatness" conservatives who believe we need a great national purpose because individual purposes are unworthy
3) religious right, who are want to impose their values
4) supply siders, who think if you keep the economy going strong, then you can afford a nice big welfare state
5) technophiles, who want to use computers to control behavior

At one point, he said something I've heard before: "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."

That's not always true, but it's true often enough. The thing is, freedom lovers really do care. We know that freedom is the best system for generating human happiness. But we do get sick of all the fake syrupy "caring and sharing" stuff that is always being trumpeted about by political cynics.

faustin left an insightful comment the other day that ended:

You and I know well the need for independence and the benefits of independence. But the environment and survival conditions which shaped us give us all sorts of challenges, and there are compelling reasons why we've strong tendencies to turn towards each other and help each other in times of suffering. It doesn't change the metaphysics of the individual, the need for independence in cognition and the unarguable power of self-reliance, of course.

I think that's right.

Leviathan declares
It cares
And then creates a giant lair
Where caring is rare.

You Mite As Well Face It, You're Allergic To Dust

People who are "allergic to dust" are typically just allergic to dust mite poop. These things are ugly, once you find them in the microscope. And they live by eating your dead skin.

First they eat
Then they excrete.
They do this all night while you sleep on your sheet.

So there's a new study that says:

Maybe you shouldn't make up your bed,
Since light and air leave dust mites dead.

kirinqueen suggests an Asian style of bed making: "with the blankets, sheets and pillows folded together, and the bed mostly uncovered."

This sounds promising, but it also sounds like more work in the morning!

AA Follow-up

I got a very informative comment on my post that touched on Alcoholics Anonymous the other day. He ended up with these words of wisdom:

Something else that is just as important, if not more so - you need to listen as well as talk. You learn a lot about what to do and how to live without a drink by listening. People come to AA thinking that what they have to say is the important part of the meeting for them, and hopefully learn that sometimes listening is more important.

Something else that you need to do in AA - help others to get sober.

I'm an outsider on this particular issue, but this sounds very reasonable to me. Often when a person has a personal problem - especially one they are embarrassed about - they think they're the only person who ever had that problem. But rarely is a problem unique, and listening to how others cope is often releasing, enlightening, and fortifying.

It's a kind of mutual help society. Of course, when you help other members, you are fulfilling your end of the bargain. I imagine you also learn a lot when you help. And though I know mentoring can be a lot of trouble, I'm sure there's deep satisfaction to be had in helping someone turn their life around.

So even if I'm leery
About aspects of their theory,
I'll praise their working model:
It gets folks off the bottle.

Old Man's War

Finished Old Man's War, by John Scalzi. It's shoot-em-up military science fiction, with a love story too. The idea is that when folks in the U.S. turn 75 they are allowed to join the space army.

The good news is, they make you young again.

The bad news is, you have to fight, hard, and you can never return to Earth.

It reminded me of Heinlein, in a good way.

At 75,
If you're still alive,
You can fly off the planet and fight to survive.

Adoptive Parents Do More

That's the headline on the story.

The idea is that, statistically, adoptive parents pour more time and money into their little bundles of joy.

This result seems to run counter to alleged socio-biological imperatives of only helping close relatives.

If it's better to adopt,
Perhaps all babies should simply be swapped!

Why Round Numbers Abound

What happens if you announce that tomorrow morning's meeting will begin at 10:32 and 7 seconds?

People laugh.

Exaggerated precision
Invites derision.

People Who Need People

What's the deal with Co-dependency? If their problem is that they care too much about other people, why do they get together in meetings to share?

And, what's more, why do all the 12-step programs talk about "recovery," when none of them seem to think you can ever really recover?

It occurred to me today that the 12-step model is a bit like faith-healing. You have a disease, and if you trust in God then your condition will improve.

But there's something else you have to do - get together in meetings and talk about your problems in the proper way.

If the illness is metaphorical
The treatment must be rhetorical.

Evolutionary Catchup

Perhaps you thought our friends, the Chimps,
Were wimps.

Nope.
They're in our jungles, sharpening up their spears.

They're just hunting - we've nothing to fear!
I hope.

Search Me!

When I was a kid, they used to advertise X-ray Glasses in the back of comic books. There was always an illustration showing a man wearing these glasses and contemplating a shapely young woman. Apparently the glasses did provide an optical illusion - but they did not actually provide an ability to look under a person's clothes.

Fortunately, the folks at TSA now have the Backscatter X-ray machine. But, unfortunately, the linked article shows a large gentleman from behind, which does very little for me.

It's strictly voluntary. If you get flagged as needing special attention, you can choose between the X-ray and getting patted down.

Would you rather be seen or felt?
Bring out the dogs. I'd rather be smelt.

Published Anonymously

Oh, happy occasion -
I've finished Persuasion.

It's weird to get lost in
The world of Jane Austen.

The society's stifling,
The manners are trifling.

And yet, true minds mingle.
How sad she died single.

Let the Infighting Begin!

"Two Democratic presidential campaigns angrily accused the other of nasty politics on Wednesday..."

A donor with wads of cash
Decided to back Obama,
And took time out to bash
Hillary. Oh! The drama!

Down in the Polls

Bad news for me. An atheist has little chance of winning the presidency. In fact, a religious gay person appears to poll better than a straight atheist.

It atheophobia!

Atheists really do have a lot of bad p.r. Maybe it's all their lawsuits, like the one trying to get the word "God" out of the Pledge.

Or maybe it's the cold-war association with godless communists.

Agnostics have much better p.r. Sure, atheists think they're indecisive. But everybody else thinks they're fine people who at least are making an effort.

If you're worried about being outed
Just tell them you have doubted
And haven't yet found belief.
You will find, to your relief,
People mostly think you're swell
And not yet bound for hell.

They might vote for you, as well.

However, as for me,
I withdraw my candidacy.

Swampland Flyers

I'm back from a weekend trip to Florida.

I only saw one gator.

But I saw and heard
A lot of birds.

Gopher Turtles

We went to a nature preserve yesterday that featured Gopher Turtles.

At first, I started wondering how they had gotten these 2 species to breed. But, no. It turns out that these turtles hide in holes in the gr ound - like gophers. So we had a hard time seeing them. But we did see a couple.

Hidey-holes are the hurdles
When it comes to seeing these turtles.

Best Known American Narrative Poet

"He is, without doubt, the best-known American narrative poet of the last half of the 20th century. And not just best known: he’s one of the best."

That's a critic on Newsweek's website, speaking of Dr. Seuss.

For its 50th anniversary, there's an annotated edition of The Cat In The Hat.

It's the first news story I've read in a while that mentions anapestic dimeter.

He seems rather silly
But one thing is clear
Somehow, willy nilly,
That cat is still here.

PB Peril

There's a big Peter Pan peanut butter scare. The salmonella kind of scare. 300+ people are reported sick from it across the nation.

Add 1 to the running total.

My wife and son are down in Florida, visiting my son's oldest friend, and this friend has been sick for a couple of days in exactly the way you would expect. And, yes, he has the exact batch of Peter Pan on hand. And, yes, he ate a sandwich of it before he got sick.

With this batch of peanut butter,
Your insides first go flutter,
Then you learn to fly - zoom zoom,
To that teeny tiny room.

Blue on Jet Blue

Why do I wonder if FAA regulations about queuing up have something to do with these stories about loaded planes sitting on the runway forever?

Cheryl Chesner was on a recent Jet Blue "flight" like that..

Heading to Cancun
On her honeymoon,

She sat on the plane all morning and afternoon,
Hoping they'd leave... soon.

Correction: oops, she was going to Aruba, not Cancun. I better start thinking of what rhymes with Aruba...

There was a young man from Aruba
Who played day and night on his tuba.
His playing was bad
And the tourists were sad
Till they bought him some lessons for SCUBA.

Militant Hindu Valentine Threat

That's the headline from this BBC story. Hardline Hindus have even attacked stores that were selling Valentine's Day cards.

"They said they would burn the cards which they alleged were 'loaded with nudity and sex'."

They take a hard line against hearts
And other select body parts.

Switching Problems

I daily ride a Metra train.
It goes just fine in the rain.

Not so
In snow.

The Trib reports: "Metra was reporting delays of up to an hour across its system this evening, mostly due to switch problems related to the weather."

Up to an hour? Try MORE than an hour. Hey, but at least it gave me time to finish Varieties of Religious Experience.

I find the title a bit misleading. He is really concerned, chiefly, with varieties of Protestant and Catholic religious experience.

He knows a bit about the other flavors,
But Christianity's what he really savors.

Only, it's a very watered down, Unitarian sort of Christianity, further colored by his own commitments to pluralism and pragmatism. You come away with the idea that it's good to believe in something supernatural, and it should be suited to your own personality and history, but that all sorts of beliefs will do the job.

That eloquent man, William James,
Downplayed metaphysical claims,
But said there was room
To fight off the gloom
With spirits of various names.

Not Me

I swear I was never with
Anna Nicole Smith.

As for her baby,
Not even a maybe.

I'll deny paternity
From here to eternity.

Pollination Crisis

Bad news - honeybees across the country are dropping like flies,

You may think you don't care about bees. You may even view them as flying fiends, suicide buzz bombers who aim to give you pain.

But they make delicious honey. And they pollinate some of our crops. Our economy profits from these queen-enslaved bugs.

What is killing them off? Is it a bacteria, a virus, a fungus? Some new chemical in the environment? No one knows.

What's really strange to me
Is that flowers use the bee
To pollinate -
To mate.

A bee's a flying go-between
To distant partners, never seen.

Venezuela in Trouble

When I wrote about food shortages in Venezuela the other day, Ergo Sum commented that it reminded him of Rand's novel about the Soviet Union.

Philosopher Stone also wrote about Venezuela, and in his comments appeared a young woman from Venezuela who has started a blog to broadcast her unhappiness with her country's direction. She obviously loves her country, but is thinking of leaving:

"And then you turn your head, and see the newest propaganda of the regime on the streets: a black figure of the president with a high red background and then you realize that at least for a while you are looking foward to take that plane."

When the rats takes over the ship,
It's best to give them the slip.

Warming and Chilling

Robert Bidinotto has a lively collection of links about the Current Climate Controversy of Settled Science vs. Scandalous Skeptics.

About the last thing we need is Senators throwing their weight around to stifle contrarian research.

When they said dissent
Was good, they meant
Dissent
That lent
Support
For the right sort
Of views.

Progress Needed But Impeded

I tell people that someday, when the price has dropped enough, full body MRI's will be part of one's yearly check up.

They're annoyingly noisy, but the only known side effect is that they sometimes cheer you up.

I believe we would already be there if the government didn't gum up health care with a plague of regulations and price controls.

Stifling innovation is insidious, because you don't see the innovations that fail to occur.

You never become aware
Of technology's that's not there.
You miss the invisible cost
Of lives that were needlessly lost.

Feb 9

There were 2 showings of the Fountainhead, that night. I meant to go to the 1st. I got there early, only to find that the auditorium doors were still closed.

To pass the time, I sat down in a student lounge area, and started watching a TV comedy.

When the TV show ended, I walked over to the auditorium again. The movie had already started! So I waited for the 2nd showing.

At the end of the 2nd showing, a girl stood up and announced there would be a discussion in the cafeteria.

I sat near that girl for the discussion. She had bright eyes and a sophisticated air, and her name was Marsha.

I may have been absent of mind,
But at least I wasn't blind.

Sweaty Towels Cause Arousal

Smell of Male Sweat May Arouse Women

Yes, that's the latest scientific report.

To heck with cologne,
Perspiration alone
Will make women swoon
When you walk in the room.

Where's The Beef?

"Meat, Sugar Scarce in Venezuela Stores"

Welcome to the hungry world of price controls.

You limit the price on stuff
And all of a sudden, there's not enough.

The Varieties of Religious Experience

I've taken up The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James. It's for book club. I recall trying to read this in my college years and thinking how wordy and vague and evasive it seemed. Perhaps his skeptical self was tip-toeing around to avoid religious scandal.

Being one of he founding figures of Pragmatism, James deftly avoids defining religion with any precision. After all, pragmatists favor working definitions - sketched in sand, not carved in stone.

It's true, though, that "religion" is not the easiest thing in the world to define. There is some disagreement, around the edges, about what gets included in the concept. Remember the fundamentalists who claimed Secular Humanism was a religion?

I think the idea of religion involves a supernaturally based moral and metaphysical system. The question then comes up - what about modern, super-secularized versions of Buddhism and Christianity - are they still religions?

It's a good question,
And I'm open to suggestions.

Bodily Knowing

I've been reading Gendlin's Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy. My wife had it on the psychology shelves. I find him a frequently fascinating thinker, and he's often great on the subject of tacit knowledge. But there are things about him that bug me. One of those things is his insistence on saying things along the lines of "the body knows", and "that feeling in your chest is ready to tell you something".

I know the experience he is talking about. And the brain is part of the body, so, sure, in that sense, the "body knows." But that feeling in your chest - the vague one that's trying to tell you something - you may experience it there, but your brain is deeply involved in that experience - more deeply involved than your chest really is. You don't need to know that to delve into your feelings, but it's biologically confusing the way he presents it.

The brain is part of the body
And the body maps onto the brain;
What a complicated way
To generate pleasure and pain!

Wet Astronaut

The story is newsworthy because she's an astronaut. But it's the diapers that put it over the top.

Was her schedule really that tight?

I mean, no wonder she starting crying when accosting the other woman. She'd been sitting in wet diapers for hours!

When planning the unsurvival
Of that very special rival,
It's a sign you're going dotty,
If you don't make time for potty.

Astral Attraction

The police have arrested one of our astronauts.

She has been charged with attempted kidnapping.

Reportedly, she was in love with one of our shuttle pilots, but was jealous of another woman... so she drove from Texas to Florida, in diapers to avoid pit stops... put on a wig to disguise herself when she got to Florida, and then sprayed chemicals into her rival's car... but the rival drove away and contacted authorities.

These things are only funny when they're foiled.
Fortunately, no bunnies were boiled.

I Support Global Warming

If I must choose between global warming and global cooling, I favor warming, since I figure it would be better for Chicago property values.

I mean, with serious global cooling, my present location will be under a glacier. Don't laugh, it's happened before!

But the current claims of 90% certainty worry me. Does that mean there's a 9% probability that the glacier is on its way? I hope not.

A little more heat would be nice
Compared with a giant wall of ice.

No Joy In Mudville

Chicago blues:
Bears lose.

Polar Petition

The polar bears have a complaint.
They're called "polar bears" but... they ain't
At both poles - just the one to the North.
And so they request that henceforth
We should send at least one to the South
Where he'll pop penguins into his mouth.

So Be Careful Out There!

After walking the dogs last night,
I'd say it's true that frost can bite
At less than zero fahrenheit.

Flashing Red Lights

Our new dishwasher came today. The old one was shot. The new one, a very pretty Kenmore Elite from Sears... has a computer problem! Two of the LEDs are flashing alternately, and the thing won't work.

The installers - perfectly nice subcontractors - just departed a few minutes ago. They said to call Repair. Their guess is we'll end up with a replacement.

It's too bad. I hadn't planned
On washing more dishes by hand.

Bird Attack Down Under

So there you are paragliding in Oz - when 2 screeching eagles start ripping up your fabric wings - and then one gets tangled up and lashes at your face with its talons.

What to do?

Well, if you're "Britain's top female paraglider," you think through your options, keep going, and land.

The story says she was terrified while the feathered beasties were tearing up her wing, but it also sounds like she carefully thought about whether she ought to switch to her back up chute - and decided it was unwise.

How very British... she almost died,
But kept her cool while terrified.

Phooey on John Dewey - REVISITED

Some of you may remember that I recently considered ending a post with the rhyme: "Phooey on Dewey."

Bruce Deitrick Price, a fellow poet, informs me that he has an article with a sound-alike title: "Phooey on John Dewey"

He wondered if I meant to refer to his article. No. I was unaware of it. But it looks pretty interesting.

I'm afraid I was just thinking of things that rhyme with Dewey.

But I'm glad to join hands with Price
To say "phooey on Dewey" twice.

Failed Project

My workday train ride takes me past a major set of public housing high-rises. Or, it used to. They've almost all been demolished. Tonight I noticed that one was still standing, empty, yellow brick glowing in the winter sunset.

A housing project stands alone,
Awaiting the wrecking ball.
It won't be long before it's gone.
I'll miss it - not at all.

Syncope

When I was in 4th grade, we were given some math problem to do. The idea was to see who could get it done the fastest. We were told to stand up as soon as we were done.

I was pretty good at math, and somewhat competitive. So as soon as I had it done I jumped up... and banged my knee, really hard, on the underside of my desk.

The next thing I knew, it was morning, and I seemed to be coming out of a dream, since I could hear voices, and I was trying to wake up.

Then I could hear my teacher's voice: "John Enright. Get up off that floor this instant!"

There I was, out like a light, probably by vasovagal reaction, and I was getting yelled at for clowning around. I'm not sure anyone in the class ever believed me that I had really suffered from syncope. Such is the cost of being a class cut-up. No one believes it when you do a pratfall for real.

I was reminded of this by stellavision's recent faint. At least she had witnesses - and her boyfriend actually caught her!

Syncope's a fancy word.
In medicine, it's when you faint.
In poetry, it's when there ain't
A sound that's usually heard.

Either way, you briefly miss:
A syllable... or consciousness.

For All Your Childrearing Needs!

It's quite the rage -
The baby cage!

New Version of Slogan

Cash you lose in Vegas,
Stays in Vegas.

You can't have it back.
Don't bother to beg us.

Room on the Coast

thoughtblogger linked to this story about people who don't want to move back to coastal Louisiana.

I can say I blame them. The hurricane made it clear they had parked in a dangerous spot. No level of government was particularly good at saving the day, either. And a lot of them have moved on to new locations and have started to put down roots.

One local booster says people will be back. "People are infatuated with water. They love to be near water."

So, what do you think? Will Louisiana bounce back?

Water is good,
But not when it floods
Your neighborhood.

Canine Conundrum

Why do dogs start limping when it snows?
I think it's salt that works between their toes.

Intellectual Table Tennis

Last night, our Objectivist discussion group met with a liberal discussion group. It was quite the wild time - boisterously bouncing from topic to topic.

Patches of common ground
Were occasionally found.

I think the other group consisted of non-religious folk as well. And we all believed in freedom of speech, as far as I could tell. They were somewhat philosophically oriented, in the sense that they were interested in fundamental questions, but not in the sense of being steeped in the history of philosophy.

Marsha opened up by giving an extremely brief summary of Rand's philosophy - the quick run from objective reality, to surviving by the use of reason, to the purpose of life being one's own well-being, ending up at role of the government being the protection of individual rights.

Along the way, she mentioned that reason allows us to alter the environment instead of adapting to it. One gentlemen interrupted her with a skeptical question "And that's a good thing? I just bantered back with an emphatic "Yes," so Marsha could at least get to her point.

There were intense arguments galore as the evening proceeded. To be fair, the other group did keep trying to understand where we were coming from. But different people in their group had different things they were trying to understand, and the discussion kept changing direction. Marsha, who led the discussion, said she felt like a ping pong ball at the end of all the gab fest.

I hope a good time was had by all
As they tried to follow the ping pong ball.

In Hot Water

I went googling for hot water phobia and the first relevant thing I found was this hilarious scary post by Miss Scotch.

Then I found this wonderful wedding webpage by Chantel Kielty, who first took an interest in her future husband when he refused coffee, tea, or cocoa - because he disliked hot liquids.

I still haven't found a scientific-sounding name for this particular phobia. I guess it's on the rare side. And it's not really debilitating, although it would prevent one from working at Starbucks!

I've developed some form of it myself - particularly pertaining to handling hot liquids in open containers - the worst sort being flexible paper cups without tops - and the worst situation being that of taking such a cup from another person's hand. Yes, there really is some risk of a burn or spill, but my reaction is exaggerated. Of course, getting nervous actually increases fumbling in such situations! So I did some reading on phobia treatment and now I'm working on step-by-step desensitization. So far, so good.

Better not to steer
By exaggerated fear.

Whiteout

Just finished Whiteout by Ken Follett. It's a page turner about a family Christmas that keeps going wrong, as a blizzard hits Scotland and a deadly virus falls into the wrong hands.

I don't want to spoil the story, but I learned a lot about how a research lab handles deadly viruses and tries to keep them secure.

The characters were lively, with a strong female security expert, an admirable scientist-entrepreneur, and a clever villain who alternates between likable and despicable.

Follett, of course, is well known for his ability to cast a spell of suspense.

With a positive blizzard of action,
As cars slip and slide without traction,
The wizard provides satisfaction.

Post-Venipuncture

The trees pursue a branching algorithm
They start out stout but end up long and lissome.

I gave blood tonight. I suppose blood vessels make use of a branching algorithm too, and it's a good thing, or we'd never get blood to all the places we need it.

Anyway, I've done 2 clumsy things now, so I guess I'm feeling the effect.

Blood is fun for me and for you -
It's red and it's slippery and full of O2.

Suitably Impressed, Nonetheless

I've been in a Pilates class for a while now. All of the women can stretch in ways that baffle me.

Is the ability to flex
Statistically tied to one's sex?

Missing The Speech

I did not tune in
The State of the Union.

So I heard no applause
For scary new laws.

But you may hear me cheer
When gridlock appears.

Pouncing Pets

Our cats caught 2 mice tonight.

The mice had been regular diners in our attached garage. We kept bags of dry dog food and cat food there. The mice had been gnawing through the bottom of the bags.

So I brought the bags inside - where our cats were on the prowl.

If I were a mouse,
It would be my design
To avoid any house
With a feline.

Juggling Statistics

Why are there so many U.S. news reports lately to the effect that most women are unmarried?

Wouldn't this mean that most men are unmarried too?

Hmm. Maybe not. Most people are female, after all. This is accomplished by outliving us guys.

Maybe the men who aren't dead,
Are still mostly wed.

Baby Killers, The

Last night we went to see a new play, "Baby Killers, The" by Jeremy Menekseoglu, produced through the Dream Theatre.

It has some characteristic features of his plays: Gut-wrenching keep-you-guessing plot, tormented characters who are more than what they first seem, and a thematic cry for human freedom and dignity.

It has the characteristic production qualities of the Dream Theatre: compelling acting, intense staging, sparse but creative sets, strong use of sound to back up the mood of the piece.

I don't want to give too much away, but this play involves a society in which there are vast numbers of children who are slaving away at industrial equipment. Everyone speaks with cockney accents, and you might be forgiven for thinking you had stumbled into a Dickens production. But, trust me, that's not it. There's some Oliver Twist influence - but with major twists that take us into a world of make-believe.

This is the shape of his theme.
From out of a screaming nightmare,
A dream takes flight.

Snow Fooling

You've probably heard that every snowflake is unique - that no 2 are alike.

I've always wondered exactly how they had arrived at this conclusion.

Now a scientist has a new theory. It's possible that 2 SMALL snowflakes might be perfect matches.

He adds: "Good luck finding them..."

Outside my window, the snow
Falls lightly. The ground has gone white.
There may be some duplicates, though
So far they've escaped my sight.

Authentic Hellenic

Followers of Zeus
Are insisting on the use
Of their own
Ancient stone
Temples.

Story here.

I like this bit: "Those who seek to revive the ancient Greek religion are split into rival organizations which trade insults over the Internet."

Let them pray to their deity for victory! Maybe like this:

Zeus, O Lord of Thunderbolts,
Vaporize those other dolts!

Evening Adventure

Our old Improv troupe is restarting. After dinner I drove out to the specified practice location.

The street I drove on didn't go through.

I got there. I was the only one there. Well, except for two cleaning ladies.

Turns out it was canceled. Turns out the leader left me a message to that effect. Turns out my wife accidentally deleted that message without first listening to it.

Plenty of reversals,
No rehearsal.

Thanks, James Madison

Italy's lovely to visit,
But if you ask me, is it
Somewhere I'd care to reside,
I don't even have to decide.

I love their historic sites
But the truth is I sleep better nights
Under our bill of rights.

Wolfe Howling in the House

Tonight in book club we did Tom Wolfe's From Bauhaus To Our House, his early eighties attack on uber-boring glass-box architecture and the ideology behind it.

Some people in our discussion took exception to his wild novelistic style. But it occurred to me that his style paralleled his theme, since his style was itself an attack on the stuffy NY Times sort of writing.

He savages the boring
With a marvelous outpouring
Of prose, which at full power
Goes one hundred miles per hour.

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

We're having them for dinner. In memory of someone.

It was one of her favorite foods,
And so, in a bittersweet mood
We speak of her as we eat.

Do Computer Languages Count?

Here comes a study that says you can delay Alzheimer's - "up to 4 years" - by speaking 2 languages a day.

This is bad news for me.

The study comes from Canada, a bastion of bilingualism. Could it just be politicized junk science to justify their two-tongued ways? I hope so. Because otherwise I've got to sign up for some classes.

If I don't want my brain cells to vanish
I'd better brush up on my Spanish.

Pride and Prejudice

While vacationing, I read Pride And Prejudice, and I enjoyed it a lot - which did not happen the first time I tried to read it.

Of course, high school boys from Chicago are not the book's target audience.

It's more than a little girlie.
The hero starts off surly
But his icy exterior melts
When the fire of love is felt.

Brief Notoriety and a 30 Hour Return

The place we were staying in Italy was an amazing villa on a precipitous mountain road, just outside of a little fishing village. It had private access to the sea, and I did manage to go for a swim. The water was chilly - cold enough that I got a false feeling of warmth after I had been in a while. A friend of mine jumped in too.

Apparently this became known in the village as "someone jumped into the sea." The fishermen prefer to be "on the sea" rather than "in the sea". Such was our brief notoriety in town.

We spent a lot of time traipsing around on the coastal road, which is way up high from the sea. The road affords stunning views - which can also be a bit scary if you have any acrophobia! There are some good pictures here from a couple who did a bike tour.

We spent 30 hours or so returning:

Van ride to Naples, train to Rome, another train to the Rome airport, flight to Amsterdam, arrive at 1 AM, train ride to downtown, seven of us in one hotel room in Amsterdam - I slept on the floor, train ride back to the airport, flight to Chicago, limousine ride to our neighborhood. All in time to see the Bears, somehow, continue in the playoffs with a 49 yard field goal in sudden death overtime.

Marsha and I went strolling around downtown Amsterdam at 2 to 3 in the morning. It reminded me of New York, except it was loaded with bicycles and marijuana smoke. Of course, New York was originally settled by the Dutch, so maybe there is a deep historical connection.

After that much travel,
My mental threads unravel.

Roaming

I'm sitting in the airport in Rome -
Step by step, heading home.

Where "Subject" Becomes "Oggetto"

The Amalfi Coast
Has some of the most
Beautiful views.

But I havent been on the net for days and Im way behind on the news.


As you can see, I dont know how to make an apostrophe on this Italian keyboard.

Where Are The Hamsters?

I had always believed that "Amsterdam" was Dutch for "hamster-dam".

I assumed that hamsters, in their native habitat of Holland, built dams, much like beavers in the U.S.

But now that I'm here, I've looked around,
And there's not a hamster to be found.

What?

"What" in Spanish is "que".
"What" in Italian is "che".
Spelled different, pronounced the same way -
A lot like the "kay" in "Okay".

Key sentence: non parlo Italiano.

Flying Moose

As you've probably heard,
Utah has excess moose
On the loose.

So by whirly bird,
As dangling freight
They're flying off to another state.

Great photo here.

Educational Theorist Makes Comeback

I mentioned that Marsha was in Rome attending a "100 Years of Montessori" conference. The Washington Post ran an article to mark the anniversary. (Thanks to Stephen Hicks for the link.)

I loved this quote from the article:

The stubborn Italian physician and her contemporary, U.S. philosopher and psychologist John Dewey -- who believed that learning should be active -- are considered perhaps the most influential progressive thinkers in the modern history of education.

But Montessori has had the more tangible impact, with versions of her child-centered practices passed from preschool teacher to preschool teacher, some not even aware of the origins of what they are doing.

If true, this represents a remarkable turnaround. Dewey and Montessori were philosophical antagonists in many ways, and the battle has moved back and forth. Montessori made early inroads in the U.S., but one of Dewey's allies wrote a scathing attack upon her system, and by the 1940's there was nary a Montessori school to be found here. Then, in the 1950's, an American mom began a grass-roots effort to bring the Montessori way back to the U.S.

Marsha discusses all this history in her foundations study guide, which is where I learned about it. She describes the antagonism between Dewey and Montessori this way:

Dewey and Montessori approached education from philosophically and psychologically different perspectives. Dewey's concern was with fostering the imagination and the development of social relationships. He believed in developing the intellect late in childhood, for fear that it might stifle other aspects of development. By contrast, Montessori believed that development of the intellect was the only means by which the imagination and proper social relationships could arise. Her method focused on the early stimulation and sharpening of the senses, the development of independence in motor tasks and the care of the self, and the child's naturally high motivation to learn about the world as a means of gaining mastery over himself and his environment.

I could end with something silly, like "Phooey on Dewey." I could try for something praising his antagonist, like "Glory to Montessori." But I suppose the most important person to cheer for is the child, who must learn to use his or her mind, which is quite an adventure.

Sharpen your mind.
And trust it can find
The reasons behind
All things.

Shut Up And Deal

I came across a lovely little poem by A. E. Stallings about a colicky baby. In case you don't know, "colicky" is a temporary condition where a newborn's tummy hurts - resulting in a lot of bellyaching and burping-up for several months. The poem is here.

I've got nothing to cry about tonight, since I won a bit of money in a family game of poker. I haven't played for money since college, so I'm just glad I didn't lose!

I had some good luck
And won 6 whole bucks.

Far from feeling colicky,
I'm positively frolicky.

Happy Hundredth

A couple of days from now - January 6 - is the 100th anniversary of Maria Montessori opening her first school.

That school, in Rome, is still open. There's having a big conference there to celebrate. My wife is there, too, helping to ring in the centenary.

I put "preschool" in quotes only because Montessori teachers don't like that expression. It's not pre-school. It's school. Period.

School for the very young, yes,
But truly school, nonetheless.

Crisis de Jure du Jour

Our Chief Justice thinks we've reached a Constitutional Crisis
Because federal judges need more money to pay higher prices.

As far as I can tell, the Constitution
Forbids their salaries' diminution
But doesn't say what they should be.

I mean, I don't think they should work for free,
But the Chief Justice is making 200 plus
Which is more than a lot of us.

Not getting a raise may make them feel low
But I don't really care, after that ruling in Kelo.

Nietzsche and the Nazis

Today we watched Stephen Hicks' new DVD, "Nietzsche and the Nazis".

It was basically Prof. Hicks giving a very informative and analytical lecture, but with a lot of visual material, partly power-point style graphics, partly historical drawings and photos. It's 2 hours and 45 minutes long.

I've read a lot of Nietzsche. I'd say Hicks was fair to him, carefully delineating Nietzsche's points of agreement and disagreement with the Nazis.

I've read a fair amount about the Nazis. But I learned more. My favorite new fact was that Hitler, in private, was fond of exclaiming "How lucky that men don't think!"

I do wonder why he did it as a DVD. I don't think he has done a video before. My guess is he's trying to reach out to a broader audience of some kind. It seems like the kind of thing a public library would purchase, and I hope that happens.

So if you'd like to see something new
You might give it a view.

Polar Bear Festivities

New Year's Day at noon, at North Avenue Beach, a group of us will be taking a ceremonial dip in the waters of Lake Michigan. It's free, so if you're in the neighborhood, feel free to join us. Of course, I may chicken out.

I guess the idea is to start off the year adventurously, thus preparing oneself to tackle the serious problems of the world.

Or maybe it's just a goofy stunt.

We'll dive in boldly
With exuberant howls.

We'll stumble out coldly
Desperate for towels.

UPDATE: The water wasn't too bad. Afterwards I snapped a shot, which you can see above, of a couple of latecomer participants.

Depressing Reading

I was reading the Sunday Trib and I came across a 2 page ad for Cymbalta, which at first I thought was the name of a campfire song.

Someone's crying my Lord, Cymbalta...

"You might feel sad or hopeless. You could have vague aches and pains, or even a backache. Many people wouldn't think of these as symptoms of depression."

Vague aches or pains? Almost everyone my age has those. Especially after exercise!

"There are many paths to take in the treatment of depression, including talk therapy, diet and exercise."

Exercise? But that seems to be the cause of my depressing aches and pains!

Unfortunately, "only your doctor can decide if Cymbalta or other treatments are right for you."

I fear my doc will say no.
I guess I'll just have to go
To some other doc
Who won't keep a lock
On this new antidote to woe.

Artificial Happiness - More, More!

Against my better judgment, I've continued reading Artificial Happiness. The author, Ronald W. Dworkin, MD PhD, is a lively writer who has a lovely way with anecdotes, and a broad range of interests. He is very worried about this A.H. phenomenon which he says has swept the nation:

But imagine an entire class of people who stupefy themselves regularly and constantly, who remain stupefied throughout the day, and who live not on society's fringes but in the mainstream. Suddenly the problem grows more serious - millions of regular people stifling their consciences to live happier lives, thinking, and therefore behaving, in ways they would not otherwise do. Through sheer numbers these people pose a greater threat to the social fabric than murderers, prostitutes, and thieves.

One of his key premises, you will note, is that Artificial Happiness stifles one's conscience. This strikes me as a remarkably strong claim when we are talking about the effects of anti-depressants, alternative medicine, and "obsessive exercise".

Do all these joyous throngs
Lack a sense of right and wrong?

I put those scare quotes around obsessive exercise because I'm not sure what counts as obsessive in his book. Of course, we all know that anything with "obsessive" in front of it must be bad. Our author recognizes that "moderate" exercise is good for you, and from his photo on the book jacket he's in reasonably good shape, himself. What really seems to irk him is a certain sense of accomplishment some people take from exercise. He paints a portrait of a depressed hospital janitor who finds no joy in his mopping, but who discovers a new source of solace:

Instead he finds happiness by working toward fitness goals, which enhance his sense of time. After a workout, Jim ponders his exercise program. He doesn't know how much weight he will lift in the future, but he knows it will be more, which excites him so much since is real life is fixed and predictable...

When he sees overweight doctors climbing up the stairs at the hospital, panting and with little beads of sweat glistening on their sideburns, he swells with pride and thinks he's the better man...

All right. We can laugh at the janitor who thinks he is a "better man" than the doctors just because he's a better stair-climber. But is this guy's weight-lifting program a threat to the "social fabric"?

Real life is chopped into holidays, work goals, and family celebrations. Gym life is chopped into athletic accomplishments. In both cases, people look forward to events and remember them afterward, an experience that imparts weight and depth to the passing hour and helps people feel an expanded sense of being.

This is the passage that set me off the other day. I object to this Real life / Gym life dichotomy. Gyms exist in... real life. And I know lots of people who manage to incorporate work, family, and athletics into one... real life.

I should confess that I sometimes take pleasure in immoderate amounts of exercise. I even, dare I say it, have taken pride in such activities.

To be fair, the book has a lot of interesting information in it, mixed in with the stuff that makes my eyes roll. I think many of my difficulties with this book stem from my opposition to the author's philosophical outlook. In the last chapter, he writes:

The universal goal in life is lasting happiness, yet it is impossible to find lasting happiness. Such happiness might be obtainable if everyone cooperated, but everyone is too busy looking for their own happiness to do so.

Let me just stop right there. I think the opposite. I don't think I would care for a world in which only my happiness mattered. As for happiness itself, is it really just lasting contentment? Or is it experienced even in the midst of the struggle?

No contentment lasts forever
But there's joy in the endeavor
Of pursuing what's worthwhile
In a dedicated style.

UPS Tracking

Here's a story about an Indiana couple who spent Christmas week gathering gifts in an unusual way.

The gifts weren't really theirs. But they had a scheme that involved driving along behind a UPS (United Parcel Santa) truck.

D'Angelo said if the UPS driver left a package on the porch of a recipient who wasn't home, the defendants "would pull up into the driveway, take the package and then catch up to the truck again."

Unfortunately for them, the UPS driver noticed that he was being tailed, and alerted the police.

The couple played The Grinch,
But the coppers made the pinch.

The Mikado

Tonight we took in a performance of The Mikado by Gilbert and Sullivan. It's too late for me to make up a rhyme of my own, so I'm going to quote Gilbert, from his song about letting the punishment fit the crime:

The advertising quack who wearies
With tales of countless cures,
His teeth, I've enacted,
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs.

Dating Roadkill On Internet Radio

New Years Day, at 10 pm EST, the Dating Roadkill radio talk show will debut on the net. I'm a regular reader of the host's website, FunkyBrownChick, and I expect the show to be down-to-earth and downright funny.

Apparently you don't have to listen to it live... you can just download and eavesdrop later.

"Worst Dating Stories Ever" is the opening topic.

That's a topic I know nothing about.

Wait. Well, on my FIRST DATE with my wife... I was still in college. I had the family station wagon. It was Chicago in February and it was snowing. I THOUGHT the windshield wiper fluid was out, so I wasn't spraying the windshield to clean it. The windshield got all salty and I couldn't see that well and I RAN INTO A 3 FOOT HIGH BUS STOP SIGN IN THE MIDDLE OF STATE STREET... and knocked it over. Then I determined that the windshield wiper fluid was working after all. That was a GREAT first impression.

Keep the windshield clean
On your driving machine.

And Sometimes Wings And Stings

Having made my way through the Inferno, I'm reading a fun historical romance, Jared's Runaway Woman. I did find an amusing blooper:

...and they'd started a bug collection.

"See?" Eddie, who was the same age as Sam, thrust a glass jar at Kinsey proudly displaying the four- and eight-legged critters climbing over a handful of straw stuffed inside.

"Oh my, that's quite a collection." Kinsey managed a smile and forced herself not to reel back.

I scratched my head when I read that. What kind of four-legged critters show up in a bug collection?

I wonder if our author has the same aversion to bugs that her heroine has. If they really give her the creeps, maybe she's never looked at insects long enough to see they have six legs?

From bees to flies to walking sticks,
Once they're grown, they all have six.

Artificially Happy? Oh No!

Today I was looking at a book called Artificial Happiness: The Dark Side Of The New Happy Class.

It's written by a guy who thinks people are overdoing the following things: anti-depressants, alternative therapies, and exercise. These things are making them artificially happy, insulating them from authentic sadness. Sally Satel reviewed the book here and talked about the anti-depressant angle, about which I know little. I don't know much about alternative therapies, either.

But I did want to say something about the exercise angle. The author draws this weird distinction between success in real life and success in meeting one's exercise goals. He says, in effect, that the happiness of running your first 5k is somehow a non-real-world event, because it doesn't directly apply to one's work or one's family life.

Maybe his problem with such activity is that it's devoted to the self. Would it surprise you that this guy also wrote a book called The Rise of the Imperial Self: America's Culture Wars in Augustinian Perspective?

His complaint, I think, is the Puritan one -
People are having too much fun.

The Pope Asks

“Is a ’Savior’ still needed by a humanity which has reached the moon and Mars and is prepared to conquer the universe; for a humanity which knows no limits in its pursuit of nature’s secrets and which has succeeded even in deciphering the marvelous codes of the human genome?”

That's from the Pope's Holiday Message. It's a good question.

We need a knowledge of right and wrong, of course.

I try to behave
But I can't say I crave
Being saved.